Life of a New Dad

Good Bye

2011-04-07T12:52:00.000-05:00

Little did I know that when the ultrasound lady revealed we were having twins, the changes were only beginning. The reality of having multiples changes every perception you ever had about your life. This revelation brings about uncertainty. And of course uncertainty breeds fear. The uncertainty over finances; properly sized cars, houses, and strollers; and of course the uncertainty of how to care for two babies at once are always present. And that means fear is never far away.

Thankfully, at about the same time we learned of Arica's double load, we began meeting weekly with a group of other young couples at our church. We didn't know any of these people at our first meeting. It was just that, a first meeting for all of us. But over these past several months our new friends have helped us grow in tremendous ways. Because of the love we all share for God and for each other Arica and I were able to achieve a certain peace in our lives that can only come from the Man Upstairs.

So as we journeyed hand in hand towards the great unknown we put our faith in God to deliver us. Of course we didn't just say, "OK God. Wave your magic wand and hook us up." We tried to remain faithful. We did what we could.

I sold my boat. Arica prepared to sell her car. We were making adjustments to our life in order to welcome our new little blessings. Then the big change that I didn't really expect came along. It is a huge blessing, and I have been thanking God every day since receiving the news.

I got a new job. This job comes with a nearly 30% pay increase and multitudes of benefits that never existed for me before. This new opportunity allows me to better provide for our growing family, while at the same time planning for our future. Needless to say it didn't take me long to accept the offer.

So after ten years I am changing jobs. The fact that this is happening just a few months before our twins arrive is not lost on me. Some might say the timing is bad because I won't be around as much to help with all the new responsibilities that come with having two babies at once. Arica and I don't feel that way. We know it will be hard, but this opportunity is certainly a blessing. And because of this blessing April 18 will be the first day of what is hopefully a wonderful new career for me.

But with great gain often comes great sacrifice. The first sacrifice for me is going to be this blog. I have written 99% of the material found here while at work. With my new, much heavier, workload that is no longer going to be possible.

What about writing at home? There is a problem with that too. My new employer is located an hour away. Until we can sell our house and move I will be spending two hours in a car every day. Our house has already been on the market for ten months so the daily commute could last a while. Because of the commute and my increased responsibilities, I will be sacrificing time at home. Every bit of free time that I have will be given to Arica and our THREE KIDS.

I just can't manage all the changes and new opportunities in my life and this blog at the same time. So it is with a great deal of sadness that I announce this will be my last post.

I treasure every single friendship I've made through this venture. Those of you who stop by regularly have truly made a huge difference in my life. Your friendship and continued support means a lot to me. Those of you that read and only comment once in a while, or even never, are also much appreciated. I never knew so many people that I've never met could impact me in such a way. So from the bottom of my heart, Thank you.

There is always the chance that I will return. I will definitely feel guilty that there are two books on our bookshelf about Braden, and the twins might not have any. I'll surely have plenty of great tales to tell. The question is how will I tell them? How will I remember them?

If I choose to once again document things here at Life of a New Dad, you'll be the first to know. Until that happens, and in case it never does, you can keep up with me on Facebook. And maybe even Twitter. I hope to see you all there.

Thanks so much. And God bless you all.

Why Pre-school Toys Are Essential Learning Tools

2011-04-07T11:00:00.002-05:00

It’s widely accepted that the education that children are exposed to during their formative years is a huge factor in their overall development. It’s not just the formal education that they receive at school that plays its part, though; time spent at nursery or indeed at home playing with educational toys can also offer a developmental advantage.

Kids’ natural enthusiasm and in-built sense of discovery goes a long way to ensuring that time spent playing with the right type of toys can help to expand their horizons at an early age. Just as reading books together with your child can help to speed up their ability to grasp the intricacies of reading and writing, certain pre-school toys can play an important role in stimulating a child’s natural tendency towards imagination and also help to spur on their creative abilities.

Of course, educational pre-school toys shouldn’t be used in an attempt to force your young child to learn something new every day. Instead, slowly introduce them into the playtime routine to allow your child’s natural curiosity drive the learning process. Research shows that the earlier and more often that children test themselves with suitable toys and games, the easier they find it to learn – and this early development is something that will stand them in great stead going forward as they enter the school system.

One such example would be Duplo bricks, a branch of Lego aimed firmly at pre-schoolers. The use of Duplo is a great way to introduce children to the idea of being conjured up unique structures in their mind’s eye and then following through and building them with their own hands.

Alternatively, baby or toddler friendly jigsaws encourage users to work through what can start out as a frustrating challenge by using their own logic. Repeated use encourages the development of memory skills, pattern spotting and matching ability.

Perhaps the most important factor is that as well as being educational, pre-school toys should be fun to play with. It’s all very well giving your child a learning tool, but if it’s a dry experience for the child then they’ll quickly find something else that they’d rather play with.

Sharing with Fetuses

2011-03-31T10:54:00.000-05:00

It's been a strange and busy week for me. Add to that my latest case of the blogging blues and you get nothing. That is what has been going on around here. Nothing.

I'm poking my head back in today just to share a short story. Arica shared it with me and now I'm sharing it with you.

Lately Braden has been talking to the babies. He goes up to Arica's tummy and says "Hi babies." He will tell anyone that asks he is having "baby sissers" or "two babies" depending on his mood. Yesterday as he was eating some gold fish (the crackers not the pets) he took his relationship with the babies to a whole new level.

Braden lifted up Arica's shirt. Then he stuck a gold fish in her belly button and said "here babies".

That's a good sign. Sharing with his little sisters already.

My Cousin, My Friend

2011-03-25T10:01:00.000-05:00

I wrote a post some time ago called Cousins by Blood, Friends by Choice. It was somewhat of a stretch at that time to call Braden and his cousin friends. I admit now that I only broached the topic in order to post a video of them that I liked. Jackson, Braden's cousin, for the longest time didn't care for Braden. It's not hard to understand why. He was the only grandchild on Arica's side of the family for two years. He got all his Grandma's attention, and like any kid, he was not too excited about the idea of sharing her.

Fast forward to today and the two boys are actually pretty good friends. Sometimes they fight, but that's normal. I have seen Braden drag Jackson across the floor by his neck so I know there is still some reason for caution, but the relationship has become much more amicable nonetheless.

This newly successful union brings about a new question. With our twins on the way, how will Braden respond? How will he like sharing his Mom and Dad with these new babies? And two at once no less.

Jackson's family is expecting another baby too. They are having a little boy, and the due date in only two weeks ahead of Arica's. So Jackson will have to learn to share his Mom and Dad as well.

And both of them will have to learn to share Grandma and Grandpa with THREE MORE KIDS!

That's another topic for another time. For now let's put all that aside and just appreciate the budding friendship that these two cousins are enjoying. Last month they spent a couple Saturday's together after Jackson's soccer games. Braden LOVES Jackson and would spend every day with him if he could. But Jackson initiated these gatherings, which is proof that he might just love Braden too.

So here's to the two little guys that have helped each other learn how to share loved ones, a skill they are both going to desperately need.

Being a Better Husband

2011-03-22T10:42:00.000-05:00

I wrote my Twin Girls Top 10 about things I needed to do about two weeks ago. It was all in good fun until I got down to number ten. The last item was to be a better husband so my girls will have a good example of how they deserve to be treated. This line of thinking has been stuck in my head for quite a while now. The fact that their idea of what a man should be will come almost entirely from me is beyond scary.

I don't know why setting an example seems to be more critical now with girls than it did with Braden. He is also getting his example from me. I guess it comes from that innate fatherly instinct to protect your little girls. They're not even here yet and I'm already wrapped around their little fingers.

For much of my life I thought I would be the typical Dad as portrayed on TV. I thought I would be the 1950 version of Dad. I would work. I would come home. I would sit in my recliner, drink beer, and watch sports. I didn't need to cook, clean, or do anything else.

Thankfully reality eventually set in. Now I don't even have a recliner.

After work I try to help the best I can. I like to cook actually. I don't think anyone likes to clean, but I help a little. I share the duties with Braden as well. Sometimes I may need to be reminded of what those duties are, but once prodded I can help.

Being an example for the girls is much more than all that though. It is not necessarily about dutifully pulling my share of the load. I can't represent my part in the marriage as the ox that carries the heavy load because he has too. Dad can't be the guy that does all these things out of a sense of duty or worse yet just to stay out of trouble.

I have to be loving above all else. I read a verse from the book of John today where Jesus says, "If you love me, you will obey what I command." My attitude and help around the house must be taken in the same light. I am not being commanded. That is not the point. The point is that if I love Arica, I should want to help her as much as possible. I should show my love through my actions.

I should happily mop the floor.

I should joyfully fold the clothes.

I should rejoice in changing a dirty diaper.

Let me be the first to admit that this type attitude is not easy for me. I'm human. I would rather watch a ballgame than do any of that stuff. And that is why I wrote #10 the way I did. I have a lot of room to improve as a husband. There is always room to improve, and I want to strive towards a more perfect love that can be seen easily by my children.

These are just the things I think about when my mind wanders. I think it's a lot more productive than my pre-children day dreaming of fishing and cold beer.

Scooby Doo Crazy

2011-03-18T11:08:00.000-05:00

Braden has gone completely Scooby Doo crazy. He watches Scooby Doo cartoons all the time. He would watch them all day if you let him. I didn't see this one coming at all. He has been a Pixar Devotee for a long time. Cars and then Toy Story. He still loves Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. But how do you jump from those things to Scooby Doo?

It must be the monsters. Braden is always talking about monsters. When he watches the show he points out every monster and tells us when they are trying to get Scooby Doo. Yesterday afternoon we were playing outside and Braden just started running around with his hands in attack position growling and saying, "I monster!" From that I think it's safe to say that he likes monsters.

I guess he takes after his Mom on this one. I don't like horror movies. I don't like haunted houses. I have never even liked Halloween, until we had Braden of course. It's fun with him. My point is that I don't like being scared. I don't get the point of that whole thing. Fear is not a enjoyable emotion as far as I'm concerned.

Arica on the other hand loves it. She loves scary movies. She loves Halloween, haunted houses, roller coasters, and any other adrenaline fueled scare tactic. She would never sky dive or anything like that but she enjoys a moderate does of scary.

Braden is the same way. He loves for us to scare him. When we do he runs to the other parent, hugs their neck tightly and says "I scared Momma!" or "I scared Daddy!" So as much as everyone keeps telling me he looks and acts just like me, I know that is not completely true.

Braden likes monsters just like his mother. For me that means I will have to become more comfortable with scary things. By scary things I mean Jason, Freddy, Dracula, werewolves and the like. That is where I draw the line though because there are a lot of scary thing that I refuse to include in my life.

For example, there is not enough liquor on earth to make me comfortable with Lifetime Movies or Oprah.

First Kicks

2011-03-16T14:53:00.000-05:00

I felt one of the girls kicking for the first time last night. That is always a very cool moment for the expecting Dad. Arica has been feeling the kicks for weeks. But it is always much later before Dad gets his first touch from the new life growing within.

Feeling that kick makes things seem a little bit more real, and it means that the arrival of the little kickers is getting closer. I thought it was awesome to get a small little foot five from one of our girls. I don't know which one it was, but I'm glad she said hello.

For that matter even if I did know which girl kicked me, I wouldn't be sure what to call her. We haven't quite figured out the proper naming convention for twins yet. I say the first one gets a certain name and the second one gets the other name, but what do I know. At this point you just can't be sure which is which.

That makes it harder to talk to them before birth. When you have one kid you can pat your wife's belly and call them by name. I talked to Braden all the time. I wanted him to know my voice when he appeared on the scene.

With the girls I won't know which one I am talking to at any given time. I guess as things get further along they will stake out claim to certain parts of the uterus. When these claims are well established we can give them names like top baby and bottom baby.

Whatever their names, and whichever girl, one of them kicked my hand last night and it was awesome.

Waiting on Reality

2011-03-11T14:12:00.000-06:00

The words "You are having twin girls" must be among the most frightening phrases in the English language. It's like my own personal "The British are coming! The British are coming!" Yet I sit here every day in a state of perpetual bliss. I don't have a care in the world.

So what's wrong with me? Why am I not more worried or frightened?

I assume that the day of fear will come. The day when my lack of knowledge no longer impedes the storm clouds of worry. To this point the perfect storm of time and ignorance has kept my fears at bay. Raising twins is still a few months off. Until they arrive I will just enjoy my life...said the dummy.

For now I wait and watch Arica's ever expanding belly. I watch the outward results of two growing babies. I watch as tiny boxes of shoes keep making their way through our doors. As pink and yellow dresses and other miniature outfits parade through our home, I stand idly by with a stupid grin on my face.

I'm having twin girls, I think to myself. Then I continue watching some mindless episode of The Office more concerned with the well being of Michael Scott than my own.

I know reality will come raining down on me one day like a thunderbolt from above. This reality could be sparked by a doctor's visit, a double stroller purchase, or simply by the reasoning center of my brain waking from its winter slumber.

However this thing is triggered, I hope it doesn't come while I'm driving. The last thing I need is to drive off in a ditch somewhere sobbing uncontrollably.

If that happens it will probably go down like this:

When the police arrive on the scene I mutter through trembling lips, "The twins are coming....THE TWINS ARE COMING" as I stare through the officer with wild unfocused eyes.

He asks me to calm down and repeat myself.

"I'm having twin girls," I say in an ominous tone.

At which point he kindly sends me on my way, understanding that I have suffered enough for one day. But he really doesn't understand what having twins means. No one can. Not even me.

And that, my friends, is why I'm cruising through life without a care in the world.

Tools of Fatherhood

2011-03-09T10:31:00.001-06:00

During all this talk about twins and girls and getting ready for that ship to land, I am still practicing the art of fatherhood for one supremely awesome little boy. Braden is never outshone by the preparation and nail biting that accompany a twin pregnancy. In fact he probably couldn't be outshone by the sun if it took up residence in our living room.

This morning at 3:30 am he reminded us of our duties when he woke up crying. When I went to ask him what he wanted Braden replied, "I want sleep Daddy's bed." On a side note Braden thinks the couch is my bed. Not because I am frequently in the doghouse, but because that is where he gets to sleep with me on those particularly difficult nights.

This time I told him no to Daddy's bed. Then I rubbed his back until he went back to sleep. Thankfully that only took a few minutes. Because any more difficulties would have required me to call in the big guns. At our house we call her Mom.

Arica can get Braden to do most anything. She has her bluff in on him. She threatens and he moves. She can threaten time outs, naps, taking away toys, turning off the TV, and other things. Even when those threats are met with the utmost dissension, she eventually wins out. Of course it is not always threatening that works. Many times it is a simple explanation that gets Braden's approval. Other times it is redirecting his attention to something else. Arica is a master of all these techniques.

On the other hand I am a master of none. My threats carry the weight of a feather. Even when I carry them through I can't get the desired result. Braden has actually started to respond to me a little better. Sometimes he knows I mean business. But most of the time he either carries on like I'm not there or he digs in and argues ferociously. If you've never seen a 2 year old argue with a 33 year old then consider yourself lucky. It is not a pretty sight.

During these most difficult of times I do have one weapon. When Braden is being difficult for some reason Arica can go to her bag of tricks for reason, punishment, or distraction. I am not so lucky. In my tool box there is but one tool for sticky situations. When the going gets tough, you know what I do?

I tickle.

This is certainly not award winning parenting, but you do what you have to do. I can't succeed at any of the typically prescribed disciplinary methods, but man can I tickle a frown away. It's fun for now, but I better get some chops before Braden reaches high school. I can't see tickling as a proper method for handling any of those teenage problems.

Twin Girls: To Do List

2011-03-07T11:13:00.000-06:00

We found out one week ago that we are having twin girls. I am very excited about the opportunity to learn all about the father/daughter relationship. I am certain that I will be powerless against these little angels. Even though it is very exciting, it is never too early to start a to do list in order to prepare our family for those teenage years.

I tried to rise above the fray and not make all the normal girl jokes, but I just couldn't help it. The jokes are all teed up and just waiting for me to take a swing. So here they are in top ten to do list form. I did sneak a serious one in there as well. Well maybe I should say more serious because I have to give all these items consideration.

Find the guy responsible for the Coors Light twins commercial and strike him down.
Get the Double Mint guy next.
Upgrade from single barrel shotgun to double barrel.
Enroll Braden in MMA fighting class at earliest opportunity.
Get meaner dogs.
Call Bear Grylls and learn some of those dead fall trap techniques.
Develop War Face.
Pro/Con list on mote versus castle wall.
Start long campaign to convince Arica we need a more public weapons display in our home.
Be a better husband to set a good example for the girls on how they deserve to be treated.

Sooner Dog

2011-03-04T10:34:00.000-06:00

Spring has pretty much arrived in Arkansas regardless of what the calendar says. We have pear trees and daffodils blooming everywhere. My rose bush is making its yearly effort to grow into a rose tree before I can stop it. The weather is warmer, and we are outside every afternoon.

After I get home from work Braden and I go out and play in the back yard. Braden practices his driving skills in his Lightning McQueen car. He drives in a fairly continuous left turning oval so that he can jump of the roughly one foot drop on the backside of our concrete slab patio. That is his favorite thing to do. And yes I realize that the constant turning left could be a sign that Braden will like NASCAR, unlike his Daddy.

Braden also likes to take wagon rides and jump on his trampoline. He loves to run around and pretend his is blowing away or pretend that monsters are chasing him. He just simply loves being outside.

Braden being outside every day probably means just as much to our lab Otter. Since being banished to the back yard a couple years ago he has been patiently awaiting a new friend to play with. Well, patiently might be a stretch. He has never liked being a dog. Otter is what my dad calls a Sooner Dog. He would sooner be with people than eat.

And now that Braden and I are back there with him regularly, Otter has been reborn. He runs and jumps. He barks happily and wags his tail. He follows us everywhere just waiting for the next game or the next pat on the head.

I am sure that he and Braden will be the best of friends. I am really happy for my old buddy Otter. He needs a new more lively friend. And lively is certainly right in Braden's wheel house.

As for our other dog Abbey, she doesn't really care for our intrusion into her world. She spends most of her time running away from Braden. I guess that just proves that some dogs are social and some dogs are not.

Man Space

2011-03-03T08:59:00.000-06:00

I am excited that we are having girls. I know that they will teach me a lot, and show me a new type of loving relationship that I never thought possible. They will be great.

Having said that I am definitely going to need a good support group. I will need help handling the things that Dad's have to handle when girls are involved. You can call it observation, protection, or flat out scare tactics. I'm thankful that our first child was the little guy we call Braden. I know he will always watch out for his sisters.

I also know that I will need another guy to hang out with. Braden is going to be that guy too. I've mentioned before that I don't like the term man cave, but Braden and I are going to need something like that. We will need a place to occasionally escape from the main part of the house that henceforth will always be running on estrogen. Braden and I will have to carve out our own little manly niche somewhere in our home.

Unfortunately, finding a house big enough for three kids and a full size playroom for the boys might be a little difficult. So with that in mind I think Braden and I might just claim all of the outdoors for our man cave. We can call it our man space. After all, hunting, fishing, baseball, football, camping, and any number of other manly things that I enjoy take place outdoors.

So here's to spending as much of my life with Braden as possible outside the walls of our home. It will be our sanctuary. And as you can see from the photo above we are already pretty comfortable with the idea.

Raising Money for Twins

2011-03-02T10:21:00.001-06:00

It was hard to watch him drive away. It felt like he was taking a part of my manhood with him. At the same time it was certain that he was taking away part of my past. Left in the driveway watching him go I was staring at my future. Even though I stood frozen, feet planted firmly on the cracked slope of our driveway, I was taking a big step towards a better life.

This was probably the first time that I have ever given something completely selflessly. So often I give only so I might get in return. My giving is part of some grand plan to get what I want. This time was different. I was getting nothing in return. The situation looked so dire that I actually tried to back out of the deal a few days earlier. I tried to get myself off the hook.

In so doing I nearly ruined the selfless act altogether. For it is not enough to give. In order for your giving to truly matter you have to give with the right attitude. Every man has been asked to do the dishes and had some smart remark in response. Even though we end up doing the dishes anyway, our wives are not standing in line to sing our praises. That is because we didn't do it with the right attitude. We have to give with a cheerful heart for the true impact to be felt.

So even as my fishing boat drove off into the midday sun I felt a tinge of joy in my heart. I knew this was the right thing to do for our growing family. I'm thankful that Arica was there for me when I had a little crisis of selfishness. If not for her I probably would have went fishing instead.

Twins don't wait until they arrive to start changing your lives. They start right in from the time you see that first ultrasound. Changes have to be made, and I'm glad we have the ability to make them.

After all, I can fish with my Father-in-law whenever the mood strikes. It's not like I sold all my fishing gear and moved to the dessert. Fishing opportunities will always be there. The opportunity to raise twins is not so common.

Since I sold the boat I found out we are having two girls. That means the financial need is going to be even greater. And the money we got for the boat will buy an awful lot of shoes.

Same Sex Fraternal Twins

2011-02-28T15:20:00.000-06:00

Arica and I went in for her second official ultrasound today. It is a common misconception that this ultrasound is for determining the sex of the baby. Although I will reveal that momentarily, it is not the reason any physician prescribes this scan. The ultrasound's function is actually to find about a million different anatomical blurbs on the screen to help the doctor determine how the babies are doing. Among those things are the cerebellum, stomach, kidneys, chambers of the heart, and a bunch of ABCs whose meanings I am not privy too.

On that note I am very happy to say that the doctors exact words on how things looked was, "Perfect." The twins are measuring within three days of the expected due date. Their weights are 11 and 12 ounces which is within the desired range for weight difference. Everything is cooking well which is the most important thing.

Of course I have never had a single person text, Facebook, tweet, or dial up the phone and ask me how the babies kidneys looked. The only queries I have fielded for weeks now have involved the sex of the babies.

But before I get to that let's talk a brief bit about identical and fraternal twins. Our twins have separate placentas. Although there is no one hundred percent guarantee this most likely means that we will be having fraternal twins. The odds of them being identical at this point are extremely low.

Finally, we come to the private parts. Today there was only one type of private parts shown on that black and white screen. And those parts were girl parts.

We are expecting two little girls!!!

I am really excited, but altogether lost. I have a brother and a son. I don't know anything about girls. Ask my wife.

I will certainly be making gun jokes for years to come, but that is not the true sentiment of the day. Today I am in awe that God has chosen to bless Arica and me with two beautiful baby girls. I promise to do everything in my power to be the best Dad that I can for these two angels. I will learn to like pink. I will learn to play with dolls. I will learn to love ribbons, bows, dresses, and closets full of shoes.

As I understand the father/daughter relationship I probably won't have any power to resist anyway.

A Perfect Kid with a Sleep Disorder

2011-02-25T13:05:00.000-06:00

This is the only explanation. We've lived with this person for two years and a little over three months now. I know what he is like. Braden has been one of the easiest kids to raise that anyone could hope for during the daylight hours. But after dark he can be difficult.

Braden gave up his bottle cold turkey at 12 months. No trouble at all. Not one crying fit over his bottle. His pacifier went in the same exact way shortly after that. Braden has always been a good eater. That is part of the reason he got of the bottle so quick. He likes food. He loves fruits and veggies and will never turn them down. He loves milk and water, and drinks them almost exclusively.

But his greatness does not only revolve around food. At the ripe old age of two he has 80% mastered potty training in only a few short months. His terrible twos tantrums only lasted a short while. He always says please and thank you without prompting. If he so much as bumps into you he will offer a sorry.

This is daytime Braden. He is a sweet, loving, good mannered angel.

Night time Braden is a different story. He has been difficult from the very beginning. Arica and I spent months sleeping on the couch while he slept in his swing as an infant. We both took turns sleeping on an air mattress in his room when trying to transition him to his crib. We tried to get Braden to sleep in everything in the house short of our chest of drawers. You can go back and read The Quest for Sleep if you want to see what I'm talking about.

In fact just click Sleep to find all the posts that I have written about our troubles over the past two years .

Just last night Braden was up at 2 am crying for someone to get him out of bed. It took Arica and I two trips each to discuss the merits of sleeping at night before he finally went back to sleep. He woke up again later. Then he finally got up a 5:45 to watch TV. Then he went back to sleep on the couch and didn't want to wake up and face the day.

Arica claims he is part owl.

Braden has gone through long stretches where he wakes up around two am every night. I've spent more nights than I can count on the couch with him watching cartoons in the wee hours.

He is just now trying to get over a spell where he cries for two hours when you put him to bed. No matter how you go about it he struggles to sleep more than five hours at a time. He is just wide awake at the most inconvenient times.

Let me stop everyone from suggesting we cut out his nap. We tried that already. When we cut his nap time down to one hour a couple months back he morphed into a miniature flesh colored version of the Incredible Hulk. So naps are still necessary.

This all brings me back to my original point. Braden is the perfect child. He just has a sleeping disorder. I don't need any doctors or sleep disorder experts to tell me that. I know.

So as the twins approach, and Braden continues his all out war against sleep, I think there is only one way this all shakes out. It goes something like this. Coming this Summer to a blogging circle near you, ZOMBIE DAD! Starring me.

Potty Training and Sharp Knives

2011-02-22T15:31:00.000-06:00

I tried a few weeks back to blog more. The results of that effort were the same as any of my other attempts to be a super blogger. I get on a little roll and then the circumstances of life just push blogging aside. I've been busy and not blogging as you can plainly see. Today I'll spit out several topics that I haven't had time to flesh out into their own posts. I think I'll call it Random Tuesday Thoughts unless that is already taken. So Random Tuesday with no button. Enjoy.

I mentioned the review I was going to do recently. It turns out that I don't actually have to do the review on this blog so you are all saved from that excitement. I am going to tell you what I bought though. I got a nice German made knife sharpener because every parent knows the most important thing to have in a home with young children is sharp knives.
Braden has been a potty training wonder. He rarely has accidents of any kind. He tells Arica or me when he has to pee or poop. He wears a diaper at nap time but never pees in it. He still pees some at night but not nearly as much. I am ecstatic about how this has gone. Thank you Arica and Braden.
Braden does other things at night that are not so much a source of pride. For the past week he has been staying up for two hours or more past his bedtime. He never gets out of bed. He just lays in there and talks and screams and laughs. Sometimes he cries but not often. He just won't sleep. The kid is staying up past our bedtime. Yet he still needs a nap to make it through the day. We are stuck in some sort of in between stage of sleep development. It is very frustrating.
I put my boat up for sale Monday via the nut house they call Craigslist. That place is full of winners. Anyway I was contacted 8 times in the first 24 hours. I'm starting to think that I should have asked for more money.
Braden is nuts for the Scooby Doo movie. I'm not talking about any of the dozens of cartoon movies. He doesn't like the cartoons at all. He likes the live action movie with Freddie Prinze and Buffy. He laughs all the time at CGI Scooby. I have seen the movie numerous times now, and it's tolerable. I think Mathew Lillard should have got an Oscar Nomination for his portrayal of Shaggy. Either that or I've been sniffing too much glue.
Finally, I have to remind everyone who is interested that we will be finding out the sex of our twins on Monday. So stay tuned for that, especially if you bet money on any of the possible outcomes in Vegas.

Dream Reviews

2011-02-18T10:49:00.000-06:00

I am not reviewing dreams today, but dreaming of reviews. I have been granted the opportunity to review a product for CSN Stores. CSN has over 200 online stores selling nearly everything imaginable. You can get everything from an L Shaped Desk to 50,000 Btu Gas Forced Air Heaters to literally the kitchen sink. You can't even find variety like that at Wal Mart.

Part of the fun of this review was shopping through all the possible items for purchase. I hate shopping, but a little online shopping is tolerable, especially when the store has everything from power tools to kitchen gadgets. While shopping for all this stuff I couldn't help but think of some potential parenting dream items. These items are not in stores, as far as I know, but they would be a welcome addition to any home with small children.

Here is my list of 10 dream items that would excite parents everywhere. Feel free to take these ideas and run with them product development people.

Sleep Ray Gun - I could use this baby during those 3 am play sessions that Braden loves to have. One shot of the Sleep Ray Gun and it's back to dream land for Braden and his loving parents.
Poop Vaporizer - I stole this from a movie. Bonus points for anyone who actually saw the movie. There can't be many of you.
Handy Helper - I stole this one too. It comes from a certain cartoon mouse. The Handy Helper is a giant hand that comes out of the wall and helps out around the house. I could always use another hand even if it's just to slap me back into consciousness.
How to be a Jedi Guide - This would work two ways. Jedi mind trick on a toddler that is prone to arguing. Picking up toys without leaving the couch.
Instant Chicken Nuggets - Sometimes that 10 minute prep time is our enemy.
No Preview DVDs - Much like the nugget prep time the previews on children's DVDs are a killer. And most of the time you can't skip them. Note to DVD people: This is one of my least favorite features of any product I have ever owned. Fix it!!!
Monkey Renewer - Braden's best friend in the world is his Monkey. This thing has literally been loved to death. Instant Monkey Renewal Spray could zap Monkey back to his original state thus eliminating the authentic monkey odor.
Infinite Toy Box - This would be a small toy box that opens up into a bottomless pit of storage. There is no limit to the amount of cars, trucks, balls, and Toy Story figures you can put in this thing.
10 year batteries - Actually this should probably be number one and in all caps. Lets make a better battery people!!!
Parenting Pill - For those days when I'm just not feeling it. I could use a pill to get me back in Dad mode. They have pills for everything else so why not?

The Great Outdoors

2011-02-16T09:59:00.001-06:00

When I got home from work yesterday Braden and I took advantage of the warmer weather and went outside to play. He has always loved to be outside and yesterday was no different. It's a lot of fun to watch a two year old play. Their brains come up with all kinds of things to do. That's in stark contrast to my brain which usually says sit on the couch and watch TV.

So yesterday Braden provided me with his own special brand of therapy. It's base concept is go outside and have some fun. Run. Laugh. Play.

Look at all the fun things my little buddy did yesterday while we enjoyed our time outdoors.

Braden raced Otter for his fetching stick yelling, "I get it!" On the rare occasion that Braden got if first he would throw the stick and say to Otter, "You get it!"
He hopped from one stepping stone to another saying, "Ribbit" with every hop.
Of course he rolled around on the ground just for the sake of getting dirty.
We hit a few baseballs off the tee. You know spring training has already started. It's time to start working on his swing.
He jumped on his mini trampoline banging into the walls as much as possible and constantly telling me to open and close the door by saying, "Zip up!"
He climbed on top of the dog houses a half dozen times.
He threw rocks through the fence.
And my favorite one of all, when the wind blew he would run around with his hands in the air yelling, "I blow way! I blow way!"

Men on Twins

2011-02-15T10:59:00.001-06:00

Everything on my mind is twins, twins, twins lately. I guess that is the appropriate response for a man in my position. In 13 short days we will discover the sex of our twins. At that time we can start to make more formal plans for the things we need to purchase. If we have at least one boy then we are in good shape for toys and clothes. If we have zero boys then it's off to the second hand store to peddle our wares.

People always want to know how you felt when you found out you were having twins. Many a person has laughed at just the thought of my reaction. That reaction took place about four months ago, and now we are more entrenched in the reality portion of this endeavor.

Still people want to know your feelings. I think maybe they want you to burst into tears sobbing, "I can't do this! Why me!" Maybe it's more of an honest question. People just want to know what it is like to experience something that is not the norm.

Whatever the reason for the questions, I am here to provide the answers...from a male point of view.

Thinking about my feelings I have determined that there are three distinct feelings that come with expecting twins. A normal person experiences all these emotions. You may feel them all at once in the beginning, but it is more likely a progression. Some people may not experience them all, but it is best that the mated pair experience all these emotions as a group at the very least.

Also at any time during the nine month gestation period of the human female, the male of the species can switch from one emotion to another on an monthly, daily, or even hourly basis. There are a lot of things to process in this situation so the mind just processes at will. At least that's how it works for me.

The first emotion as you could probably all guess is shock. Holy #$!& if you will. This can last various lengths of time. I guess some people can be shocked for the entire nine months. For me it lasted just a couple days. It was very severe for the first 30 minutes during which time I did not utter a single word. After a few days the governing emotion changed.

The second feeling that I experienced was blessing. I still experience this emotion on a daily basis. I feel so blessed to have the opportunity to experience the wonder of twins. I know it is a blessing to be able to have even one child, but to be blessed by two at once is indeed special. After the initial shock wore off, I was already the father of twins in my mind, and I love it. I wouldn't have it any other way.

The final mind set that comes with having twins is the one that governs my thoughts most days. This is the practical approach. Twins changes everything. The first thing you think of is how to deal with two screaming pooping bundles of joy at once. But that soon fades into the shadows of bigger more immediate concerns.

For example: Our house is too small. We need a bigger one. Our car is too small. We need a bigger one. We need to rearrange our room to make room for the babies. We need to buy Braden another bed so the babies can have the crib that is now converted into a toddler bed. We need to sell my boat to raise a little extra cash. We need to review our finances and make the proper adjustments.

So in a month or so we will probably be trying to sell a house, car, and boat all at the same time. We will be rearranging half of our home. We will be buying one of just about everything because even though we kept all of Braden's stuff he is only one baby. We are now expecting two.

Just like in a normal pregnancy the time before the baby allows the parents to get their lives in order. It is a good plan. Thank you God. Babies just arriving on the door step unannounced would be a huge problem. We all need time to prepare. So even though we have a kid already, everything is new this time. And we are going to spend the next four months weaving in and out of shock, blessing, and practicality while transforming our lives into Twin Mode.

Control of the House

2011-02-11T13:36:00.000-06:00

I've been snowed in for the past two days. On top of that everyone in the house has been sick. Unfortunately no one had a vividly insane fever dream that warranted a post. Instead you are all left to what little coherent thought my meager brain could muster.

The mid term elections last year were much talked about because of the possible change in control of Congress. The results would determine who ruled the House and Senate and thus the government. Essentially it was a question of whether Obama would continue to get free rein or if he would face some opposition. Well I hate politics, so lets end this little analogy here.

Control of the Life of a New Dad house is up for grabs this year in much the same way. We aren't having elections. In fact the outcome has already been determined. We just don't yet have the results. If you want to keep the political analogy going you could say that the results have yet to be verified by the proper authorities. When we find out the sex of our twins in about two weeks it will reveal much more than the type of clothes we should buy or what names are appropriate. The verdict will set the power balance of our house for the next 18 years or so.

Normally a couple on their second pregnancy can still possibly come out with a divided house where the estrogen and testosterone are balanced. It is far from certain, but indeed a possibility.

When that pregnancy is discovered to be a twin pregnancy then you skip the possibility of nice even numbers. You go from three to five. The house balance of power can lean towards either girl or boy. The stakes are very high. For us the possible outcomes are as follows.

Four boys, 1 Girl - SportsCenter House
Three boys, 2 Girls - Even Steven House
Three girls, 2 Boys - Reality TV House

I know I am making broad gender specific generalizations here. I am assuming the boys will tend to be like me and the girls will tend to be like their mother. I think this is the safest assumption to use, although I am fully aware that reality could possibly be 180 degrees from this. I still feel like there is a very small chance of that.

I made a judgement call on the three to two house. I call that even steven because let's face it, Arica rules the house and she is on that team. I need three other boys on my side to assert male dominance. Any guys out there who are laughing at me obviously aren't married, or they won't be for long.

So that's what is on my mind. How will this shake out? If you read the last post you know I'll be happy with any verdict, but the reality of what life will be like changes dramatically from one alignment to another.

Stop Telling Me You Don't Want Girls

2011-02-08T10:54:00.000-06:00

Time is flying by during this pregnancy for both me and Arica. She is now 17 weeks pregnant which is hard to believe. That puts us smack dab in the middle of the wondering about our babies sex period. We can't wait to know.

And with twins it is a much bigger deal. At least it feels that way to me. There are three possibilities sex wise rather than only two. There is also the fraternal/identical thing. This pregnancy could shake out any number of ways. We are really excited to find out, but rather than talk about that today I have some frustrations to vent.

I keep hearing pregnant friends say that they don't want to have girls. Even worse we have people saying that they don't want US to have girls, as if it is really any of their business. Some folks have even gone as far as joking if they are girls we should just send them back.

I will be honest and say that like most men I wanted a boy the first time. I was excited when we first saw Braden's boy parts. But I would never joke that I would send a baby back based on sex. To me that is just stupid, and frankly it's starting to get on my nerves big time.

Having kids is not like going to McDonald's and picking out a value meal. You don't get to make a choice. If you are able to have kids then you should just be thankful to be so blessed. People should just take what God gives them and be happy about it because there are plenty of people out there who would love to have kids but can't.

Sure I've made all the jokes about having girls and buying shotguns. I don't mind those. They are in good fun and somewhat realistic if you know me. Those jokes are good fun, but they don't in any way insinuate that I would rather give the girls back than protect them from teenage boys with raging hormones.

I also heard a story recently about another couple that found out they were having twins, and they just lost it. They didn't want twins. That would interfere with their lives. It was too hard. It wasn't fair.

Let me assure you that I understand how if feels to get that shocking news. It was overwhelming for me, but I would never suggest that I didn't want those babies. Having twins I feel doubly blessed even though I am aware that I will be doubly tired and doubly insane.

Maybe I need to lighten up a bit. I don't know.

Personally I just feel like having a baby is way too awesome of an experience to cheapen it by insinuating that if you don't get the kind of child you want you will be disappointed. What's next? People who will send their kids back if they aren't athletes or musicians? What about eye and hair color?

Everyone should rejoice in the miracle of life no matter what. I know I will.

Potty Training: Shower Poop

2011-02-03T10:42:00.000-06:00

We are still trudging along the uphill slope that is potty training. There are wins. There are losses. The wins are a lot of fun. But the losses are messy and smell really bad.

Arica is doing all the heavy lifting on this one. She is the stay at home Mom tasked with sending Braden to the toilet time and time again. She is responsible for arguing, pleading, bribing, and ultimately making all the potty training rules.

Braden is still wearing underwear every day. He almost never pees in them. In fact he pretty much never pees during his nap either. Arica always puts a diaper on him just in case, but it has been weeks since that diaper has soaked up any of the little man's pee.

Pooping is another story, which brings us to the title of today's post. For a long while Braden's favorite plan for evading toilet pooping was to wait until his Mother took her morning shower. At that time Braden would hang out in the bathroom and do his business. He didn't poop in the shower, or the toiler for that matter, but he did his pooping while the shower was in use.

Arica, being the super mom that she is, started putting him on the toilet when she took a shower. She would make him stay there until he did his business. He would stay too. He learned much faster than I did that his Mom means business. Just another indication that he is already smarter than me.

We still have accidents like any other potty training family, but Braden is really doing a great job. Yesterday he used the toilet twice. I'm really proud of him for being such a fast learner and doing this at such a young age. Underwear, persistence, patience, and a great wife seem to be the keys to this potty training stuff, as far as I can tell.

Operation avoid three kids in diapers at one time still has hope as long as the trend line keeps moving in the right direction.

Monster Jam

2011-02-01T09:41:00.000-06:00

Are you familiar with the term "He's all boy" that people use to describe certain little boys?

My understanding of this term is it means a boy that has very manly traits. The phrase is used to describe little boys that are rough and loud. It is meant for boys that like to wrestle, play outdoors, and get dirty. Boys that are "all boy" love to play with cars, trucks, footballs, and baseballs. You get the idea.

We hear this phrase all the time referring to Braden. While it sometimes seems like a strange descriptive, it still makes me quite proud. I've mentioned here many times that I consider myself somewhat of a manly man. I like hunting, fishing, sports, and the like. I am capable of repairing some things. I don't wear pink. I don't use loofahs. I don't like lovable descriptive words. So needless to say I beam with pride each time I hear that Braden is all boy.

Our little man went above and beyond to live up to this description on Saturday.

Some friends of ours asked us late in the day if we wanted to go with them and their son to Little Rock. The destination was Monster Jam. For those of you non redneck types, Monster Jam is a monster truck rally. We were hesitant because we just weren't sure how Braden would handle the noise, even with ear plugs, and the assigned seat concept. Taking him to any type of 2 or 3 hour performance has disaster written all over it. But we really like this couple and wanted to spend some time with them so we took a chance.

It turned out to be one of the most enjoyable nights I have ever spent with Braden. There is no way that anyone in that building (and it was packed by the way. Remember this is Arkansas) had more fun than Braden.
He sat on my lap without moving for nearly three hours. He was so intently focused on the trucks that you couldn't even get his attention. He leaned from side to side to follow the action around the guys bald spot in front of us. Braden would point at the trucks and say thing when they were in action. I couldn't hear what he was saying but it looked really intense.

He clapped on his own at times when he really liked something.

The first time all night that a truck approached the tall van to jump it Braden was pointing in anticipation.

My favorite part of the night came during a donut session. You wouldn't believe how fast one monster truck, Predator, could do donuts. It actually made me cheer. During one donut Braden just started pumping his fists and bouncing up and down. He was fired up. It was awesome!

After the show while we were trying to get out Braden even enjoyed watching the fork lift remove the smashed cars from the arena. I told him they were cleaning up the cars. Braden said, "Clean up cars" all the way home.

He loved the show so much that Sunday morning he was turned around in his seat at church telling the lady behind us, "Big Trucks! Clean up cars!" over and over again right in the middle of the sermon.

He's all boy.

Dear Mother Nature

2011-01-31T10:17:00.003-06:00

Let's continue on this outdoor adventure train of thought for one more post. I've been locked up indoors since deer season ended in December, but not too long ago I was spending significant time in the great outdoors. And during that time, while I was perched atop my deer stand NOT killing deer, I thought of all sorts of questions.

These questions weren't actually formed by my own curiosity, but more out of a fear of Braden's coming curiosity. Right now he only asks "What's that!" He asks it all the time. Sometimes he'll ask it 50 straight times. But it is still a much much easier question to answer than a "Why?" question.

Sitting in the woods I thought of several questions that Braden could potentially put out there some day. Questions that I can't answer. So today I'm asking someone who might know.

Dear Mother Nature,

Do woodpeckers ever get a headache?
Do squirrels suffer from the small man syndrome or are they always making all that noise for another reason?
Deer taste good and they seem smart in order to help them survive. Conversely, do dumb animals taste bad?
Why did you make mosquitoes? WHY!?!
Why did you make armadillos so dumb and ugly? It just doesn't seem fair.
Why did the chicken cross the road?...To prove to the armadillo it was possible. Sorry. I knew the answer to that one.
Do deer really hate me?
If a tree falls in the woods and nobody is there to hear it, does it make a sound?
Can you get me tickets to the Super Bowl?

Sorry I got off track there at the end. In closing thanks for making all the natural wonders, animals, plants, and trees that I enjoy so much. And if you can get me tickets just shoot me an email.

Man vs Child

2011-01-28T09:25:00.000-06:00

I absolutely love survival shows. I have seen every episode of Man vs. Wild, Survivor Man, and even the new Dual Survival. Long ago I was a boy scout and learned many of the typical survival skills from that experience. I think maybe I love the survival thing so much because it seems like the basest manly instinct, the ability to survive in the wild. I know I could do it for a couple days around here in my home environment, and I would love to try a very watered down version for a weekend some time. Survival in the cold, however, is not for me.

Watching all these shows sometimes makes me think about my life as a dad in terms of a survival situation. Sometimes it feels like being lost in the dessert with no way out anyway.

So I have questions. In a parenting survival situation what would be the most essential survival tools? What would be the best plan of action? What are the survival basics?

Well instead of pondering my life away I decided to put some ideas together. So here is the first revision of my Man vs Child survival guide.

The boy scout motto is "Be prepared." This is the best advice for any situation. The problem is that no one plans to be in a survival situation. It just happens. Bear Grylls always carries his trusty knife. Usually it includes a flint for starting fire as well, although sometimes he leaves that behind for the sake of TV. So what is the essential survival tool for a parent? What tool is equally as important at the mall and at the park? My answer is Diapers and Wipes. You don't want to be caught anywhere without a way to get rid of poop. Forget food and water. Go straight for the waste disposal tools.
Often times you find yourself in places that are less than baby friendly like a restaurant. Just as Les Stroud would scavenge his broken down dirt bike for wire, gasoline, and insulation, we parents must use what is available to us. The restaurant menu can work as a book in a really tight spot. Straws can serve as swords. Sugar packets can work as building blocks or footballs. Use people in the neighboring booth for a peek a boo game. Pull out an ink pen and let the kid draw on something if you must. Remember THIS IS SURVIVAL! Use anything you can.
Now that we have covered poop and entertainment, lets look at food and drink. In a typical survival situation the priorities are water, food, and shelter. But for children in an unfamiliar environment clean butts and entertainment often come first. Because if they aren't happy then all hell breaks loose. And once that happens all is lost. If you have a newborn then you always have food with you. We have a toddler. We don't carry around stuff for him anymore. Sometimes you have to tide the kid over until you find the next food source (read McDonald's). Crackers are complimentary and yummy. You can find free cookie samples at the bakery. In a survival situation you just have to know where to look. If you happen to be in a grocery store I strongly advise opening a box of food for the kid. Don't feed your child fresh fruit from the store though. That's just stealing.
Finally we come to shelter. Always be prepared for the possibility of a nap. If the kid starts falling asleep be ready to drop all your gear and make camp for the night. You can sit down on any available furniture. The mall sofas are nice. They can work as a temporary shelter while your survival partner, if you have one, continues the search for food or clothing. There is also the possibility that in a napping situation you will have to get out the emergency flares and signal for help. I've been in spots where setting the store on fire seemed like my best option. When you find yourself in that kind of predicament you need to get back to base camp where it's more cozy. On those days just be thankful you knew how to survive so you could live to play another day.

These are just the basics. The key is adaptability. Every situation is different, and every child is different. Just remember to be prepared, use the things around you, and keep your cool. Never lose your head in a survival situation. That can only lead to disaster.

Whether you get out unscathed or not depends totally on your parenting survival skills. I suggest you have your own little survival guide tailored to your natural environment. Like I said before, being prepared is your best weapon. Because once you are at a school play with no toys, no food, and no escape plan, it's too late.

Little Golden Books

2011-01-26T15:46:00.002-06:00

From the time Braden was born he has been the owner of quite a fine library. I wouldn't say proud owner because he has been way too busy for books most of his life. Arica and I were determined to read to our son so we bought books all the time. We encouraged the grandparents to buy books. We wanted books.

At first we could read them to Braden. He was small and immobile and thus unable to stop us. I believe it's important to talk with your baby when they are little. Hearing words and sounds helps them even if they won't be able to talk for a long time. Sometimes it's hard to say anything interesting. That is where reading comes in. If you run out of things to say just read a book. I read Dr. Seuss quite a bit during these days.

As time went on Braden wouldn't even let us read him a book. If we tried he would just take it away. Getting through one page was quite an accomplishment.

Eventually that led to him "reading" books himself. He would take them from us, but at least he would look at them for a few moments. After that you would sometimes find him sitting in the floor of his room surrounded by a pile of books.

We have one low bookshelf that is just above the floor. He can easily get those books and read them. He would look at one, throw it down, and get another. This would continue until they were all on the floor. He still does that.

A little while later Arica and I stored some of his toys and clothes in big plastic tubs. I was slow in getting them stored under the house so the tubs sat in Braden's room for a few months. During this time Braden started climbing up on one of the tubs so he could reach the books on top of his big book shelf.

This is when Braden really started to enjoy reading. Around that time this became his favorite book.

Braden called this his "Cars" book because he particularly liked the page that showed cars, trucks, airplanes, trains, and the like. He still likes to look at the book sometimes. He still likes the cars, but another one of his favorite pages has become the fish, especially the clown fish that he calls Nemo.

That leads me to our current stage of reading. Braden, as I have mentioned before, loves Cars and Toy Story. He has always loved the Pixar movies. And why would he be any different with books.

Braden has a nice collection of Little Golden Books. The same type books I had when I was a kid. He has some of the original stories, but they get little attention in our house. What Braden loves, of course, are the book adaptations of his favorite movies.

Arica and I have read each of these books 100 times.

Toy Story 2 seems to be Braden's favorite, though. At least it's the one I have read him the most. I read it to him almost every night before he goes to bed. The best part of this whole thing is that night time story. Before bed every night Braden wants me to read him a book. It's something you hear from parents the world over. Every kid goes through this stage. It seems so simple, but I love it.

Reading Braden his bedtime story is always one of the best parts of my day. Simple things like this are without question the best part of being a Dad.

Ultrasounds....And Twins!

2011-01-25T12:55:00.001-06:00

We snuck into the doctor's office late Monday afternoon. Our mission was to get one of those "for fun" ultrasounds that our doctor had invited us to have. It was all very hush hush, secret spy sort of stuff. Don't tell Obama. We don't want to get the health care police into a huff.

Even if you've done it before it is always fun to visit the ultrasound machine. Those grainy black and white pictures offer the first glimpses of the babies that you can't wait to hold in a few months.

We had seen the babies at about seven weeks. That is how we got the news we were expecting twins. Of course they looked like grains of rice way back then. Now we were eager to see how they had grown, and what a tummy full of two babies looked like.

Well it was nothing short of amazing. It was hard for the ultrasound lady to hold both babies in one view. But for one brief moment she got them. It didn't last long enough for her to hit the print button so we didn't get a picture. They apparently don't offer DVDs of these secret sessions either. But that didn't matter. The image of both babies, one on top of the other, will live on in my memory forever. What an amazing thing.

We got some other great images as well. There was one where one of the babies had his hand held out in front of his/her head. You could clearly see all five fingers. It is so crazy that, even as small as they are, they look like babies now. The tiny arms, legs, hands, and feet are so cute.

We won't go in for the official determination of the sex for another five weeks. So I have no announcement to make on that front. At one point during the show both Arica and I thought we saw "boy parts" on one of the babies. I can't remember if it was Baby A or Baby B. As a side note, at our particular clinic they always call the baby located lowest in the belly Baby A. I don't know if this is common convention or just their preference. Either way now you know.

The stenographer (read ultrasound lady) said she couldn't find any "boy parts" but it was really too early to tell. The doctor also said it was too early. Despite the fact that these two people are medical professionals and one of them has been delivering babies for 30 years, everyone we know has said they are wrong. They can tell the sex now. Whatever. We will not know the sex for another five weeks. That's my story.

I have, however, begun to prepare myself for the possibility of twin girls. I keep hearing that stupid Coors light commercial ringing in my head.

"And Twins!"

That's a nightmare.

I've also started to develop building plans for Braden and I to have our own little escape from the girls. It will be a place we can go to escape reality TV and watch a football game instead. It will have multiple TVs. It will have cold drinks. There will be rock music. It will be our manly place. I don't like the term man cave so I'm not calling it that. That term rose to prominence too fast for me. I never really accepted it. We'll call it, as Frank Costanza once said, "The Place to Be."

Whether "The Place to Be" ever comes to life or not is really not important. Maybe Arica will need her own place to run from all the boys when the time comes. We don't know. What we do know is that so far the babies are perfectly healthy, and that is all that really matters.

Rock and Roll Tricycle

2011-01-21T11:17:00.000-06:00

I have made a goal to start posting more. Perhaps you noticed. This is my fifth post this week. For you math majors out there that is one post a day during the work week. I don't think I've accomplished that since back in 2009. The post I have marinating in the drafts section right now is not yet ready for prime time, so I'll have to do something quick and dirty today.

I don't want to start putting junk up here in order to post every day, so I probably won't keep this mad schedule up for liong., I did, however, want to try and accomplish it for at least one week. So this is the capper that completes my dream. For one week I was once again a prolific blogger.

I have two things to share. One is a video of Braden riding his Lightning McQueen tricycle again. Yes, it is the same instrument of terror that he is piloting here. No, this time animal terrorizing is not the subject. Just a little rocking out and riding his bike.

But before we get to that I have a request for my praying friends. Tomorrow Arica and I will be joining a group of our friends from church to feed the homeless in our home town. A group of 7 or 8 of us has put this event together because we want to "Be the Church" in our community. I'm cooking chili in the morning and we will hand it out tomorrow afternoon. My request is that all of you pray for our little outreach tomorrow. Pray that the people we help will feel God's love through our actions. Pray that the love we share might encourage these people and give them hope. Thanks so much and have a great weekend.

Now on to Braden.

M&Ms: Is There Anything They Can't Do?

2011-01-20T10:41:00.000-06:00

Back in 1941 when Forrest Mars, Sr. started producing M&M candy he probably didn't expect that 70 years later I would be writing this post about his magical treats. In fact he probably didn't foresee the coming of the internet at all. He was a smart dude, but I think this whole thing would have probably blown his mind.

Anyway, Mr. Mars got the idea for M&Ms from soldiers in the Spanish Civil War. These soldiers carried chocolate candy with a hard shell that kept the candy from melting. You know the whole, "melts in your mouth, not in your hand" thing. After getting a patent for his own process of making chocolate with a thin candy shell Mr. Mars brought the world M&Ms.

The candy was introduced to American troops serving in WWII during 1941. And today they are still fighting the good fight inside our home.

These magical candies are serving a two fold purpose in the Life of a New Dad home. First they are Braden's reward for using the toilet rather than his pants for disposing of bodily waste.

Second they are teaching him the colors. We don't just hand over the chocolate for a properly placed pee. The kid has to tell us the color too. He has known most of his colors for some time, but for some reason he doesn't like to tell us. Braden just says any color in hopes of moving on. Now, with the M&Ms, Braden is finally starting to play the color game rather than trying to drive me crazy. That is the magic of these little chocolate candies.

They fed the US troops in WWII.

They are teaching my son to poop in the toilet.

They are teaching my son his colors.

I don't think there is anything that M&Ms can't do. They can probably teach basic math skills and help kids learn to read. They may even be qualified as driver's ed instructors. These candies are special.

It is because of all these things that I would like to take time today to say thank you to the Mars Candy Company. Keep up the good work and don't let those so called health experts get you down. America needs its candy and we're counting on you.

Branded a Parent

2011-01-19T13:10:00.000-06:00

I don't have anything particularly exciting to share today. Yes, every day with Braden is exciting, but sometimes the spirit of creativity just doesn't stir within. After all, how many times can I attempt to explain that Braden is a wild man by describing the way he uses his leapfrog train as a battering ram or by the way he says "I kick cars" and then goes around the house delivering Bruce Lee style punishment to his toys.

I guess I could do it every day, but I won't. Today instead I thought I would share something that I think absolutely, without question, brands us as parents. Being branded means there is no going back. There is no flip flopping from parent back to our prior life. Even when Braden is not around we are still 100% parents. That brand does not wash off. No amount of "Sons of Anarchy" watched while eating a meal that didn't come out of a box will change that.

Food is actually the driving theme for this post, so let's get to it. Let's start with Pampered Chef. Anyone heard of that?

Basically it's a fairly expensive brand of kitchen stuff that is sold via parties. For a while before Braden was born Arica was invited to dozens of these parties. She even threw one once at our house to help out a friend. It may have been my cousin's wife now that I think of it. I don't know. When I hear the term party preceded by any word other than keg I instinctively get in my truck and drive away towards more manly pursuits.

Well through all these parties Arica acquired some things. One of which was a set of three very nice cake pans. They were a lot better than the Wal Mart type pans we usually used. Arica used them to make some awesome cakes. I liked to use them for corn bread because of the way the browned the bread. Anyway they are fine culinary instruments.

We still have those three pans, and we use them now more than ever. They are in a state of constant motion between cooking and washing. They never get a break.

Why?

Because Braden eats a lot of chicken nuggets and fish sticks. Having kids not only transforms you, but it transforms your cookware as well.

The Unforgiven

2011-01-18T11:34:00.000-06:00

I am a huge Clint Eastwood fan. I think he is one of the coolest, toughest leading men of all time. So when I was flipping channels on Sunday as the rest of my family napped I had to watch a little of the Unforgiven. It is probably my favorite western of all time. I was flipping back and forth between that and football, and Braden eventually woke up so I didn't get to see much of the movie. Even though TV time was cut short I thought of my favorite line in the movie and was inspired to write today's post.

In the closing gunfight one of the bad guys played by Gene Hackman says, "...You just shot an unarmed man!"

My hero Mr. Eastwood replies, "Well he should have armed himself..."

That is one of my favorite movie lines, but Sunday it didn't remind me of manly tough guy things. It made me think of my tiny unborn twins. It made me think about their arrival this summer. They will arrive with guns blazing.

Dirty diaper! Pow!

Hungry! Bang!

Wet Diaper! Boom!

I SAID HUNGRY! Bang!

They will be packing a double barrel shotgun full of ammo for me. And they won't care if I'm armed or not. You see in this analogy the twins are Clint Eastwood, and it is up to me to arm myself.

I can either be the unarmed man that goes down in a blaze of pooping, crying, sleepless glory. Or I can do my best to be prepared. I can arm myself with knowledge, patience, understanding, self control, and of course love.

How in the world can I prepare for the birth of twins? I don't really know that exactly. I figure it is like the birth of your first child all over again. Everything is new. Everything must be learned by first hand experience. After all no one in my family has twins. They can't give me advice.

I think the best way to arm myself is through daily prayer and self reflection. I have about six more months to figure out what improvements I need to make. Although much of my life I just barrelled ahead like everything I did was right, I have developed a strong belief in self reflection. Being married to a smart and caring woman has helped me tremendously in this area.

Everyone should regularly take the time to look at their life, how they behave, and how they react to others. By doing this I can easily see that I need to work on my patience. I need to continue my effort to be more selfless. I need to keep working on the idea that I am now, above all things, a husband and father.

I think arming myself with the knowledge that my sole purpose in life will be to care for my wife and three kids is the best thing I can do. Taking the time to wean myself off other pursuits that are really a waste of time is part of that. I have to learn to be more mindful of my time. I'll pray about it, and I'll work on it every day.

In the end I'm just thankful that, unlike the bad guys on the Unforgiven, I've been given enough warning of the gunfight to come that I have time to properly arm myself.

Potty Training with Big Boy Underwear

2011-01-17T10:23:00.000-06:00

This weekend we got hard core with the potty training. We enacted the big boy underwear plan. This plan is very simple. Braden wears tiny little underwear with Cars designs. Arica and I take him to the bathroom every thirty minutes in the hope of avoiding accidents while at the same time drilling him on the fun of using the toilet. Repetition. Repetition. Repetition.

I think the weekend went well. On Saturday we had three accidents. On Sunday we had none. And this morning before I left for work Arica got Braden to poop in the toilet. Braden demanded that his Mom leave the room to give him privacy. Apparently that was all he needed. While she waited in the wings Braden went to the bathroom on his own. Big win.

Saturday we nearly avoided all three accidents. Braden told me he had to pee pee the first time. Even though he released the flow before he told me, we did manage to get some in the toilet. The other two accidents involved the big number two. We almost made it to the toilet the first time. I just caught him to late. We ran as fast as we could, but, alas, the deed was already done.

Later in the day just before Braden's 30 minute appointment at the porcelain throne, I had to use the bathroom. When I was done I went to get Braden. I set him on the toilet unaware of what he had been doing while I was in the bathroom.

That's when my ever inquisitive son pointed to the floor and said, "Daddy, what's that?"

To which I answered, "That's your poop."

Such are the adventures in potty training. Even with the excitement of floor poop, I have to say that it went a lot better than I expected. So off we go to the first full week of Lightning McQueen underwear. Wish us luck.

Beware of Toddler

2011-01-14T09:14:00.000-06:00

So you're all tired of hearing the southerners talk about snow, right? Well there is one detail that has yet to be discussed at Life of a New Dad. This topic is the cold weather's effect on the Forgotten Furry Children. You might recall from past posts that we have two dogs who live outside. Once in a great while they get to drag their dirty hides into the house for a little R&R. You might say it's like the doggy spa treatment.

Last year when the temperatures dropped to single digits for a few nights we let the dogs in. It was a fairly quiet process. They got cleaned up. They warmed up. And they slept for nearly the entire time. Braden was nice to them. It was a fun family time.

Well with all the snow and temperatures getting into the teens the last two nights, the dogs have spent a few nights under our roof again. I know that makes all you animal lovers out there happy. It made us happy too. We love our dogs and it's nice to have them in the house sometimes.

It is not nice however when one of the dogs roams the house all night long. She woke us up eating her food at 2 am. Then at 3 all her wandering around woke up Braden. He stayed awake for 3 hours. I think the dogs have probably lost their spa privileges for a while.

But it wasn't all fun and games for our canine companions either. In the past year Braden has developed a bit of an ornery streak. See what I mean.

The Grinch Didn't Steal Christmas

2011-01-13T10:22:00.000-06:00

Christmas was nearly three weeks ago. We have all moved on and started to enjoy 2011. Still this is some sort of a journal for me to record what life is like for me, Arica, and Braden. So even if it is a new year I have to post something about Christmas. Otherwise when I look back on this year I might think that the Grinch really did steal Christmas back in 2010. With the way my mind is deteriorating it won't seem that strange in another 10 or 15 years so documentation is necessary.

I'm sure most of you don't care, but for those of you that like pictures, here is visual proof that we had Christmas this year. Furthermore it is proof that we once only had one kid. Because next year things will be much different.

Another good reason to share these pictures is to show you how prevalent the "CHEEEEESE!" face has become in our house. Every picture taken of Braden, unless you go all stealth mode on him, results in the cheese face. It's cute, but once in a while it would be nice to see his big brown eyes.

So enjoy the pictures on the basis of a love for Christmas, a love for cute kids, a curiosity about the cheese face, or simply because you are bored to death. I don't care. I'm just glad to know that I have successfully documented Christmas 2010 for all future generations. Tomorrow we'll get back to the current decade.

Bllizzard 2011

2011-01-12T09:35:00.000-06:00

Anyone that has no life and actually reads my tweets already knows that Monday was a snow day for much of Arkansas. I have dubbed it the Great Blizzard of 2011. Roughly translated that means Arkansas got 6-8 inches of snow, sold out of bread and milk across the entire state, and everyone played in the snow rather than working. We're a bit snow crazy like that. Adults and kids alike enjoy the snow in Arkansas because it isn't often that it actually sticks around here.

As I write this post there is still a significant amount of snow on the ground, and schools are still closed. So this definitely is a big weather event for us.

I spent my day off Monday playing in the snow with Braden for the first time. Arica, Braden, and I built a snow man, threw some snowballs, made snow angels, and even did some sledding on an inflatable raft. We had to improvise because we just couldn't pass up the opportunity to have some fun. After all, it might be a couple years before we get another chance. This just in. Sledding is fun!

After calling it a day I realized that this was the first time I've ever been sledding before, even if there was no sled per se. I grew up not only in snow challenged Arkansas, but also in a part of the state where the ground doesn't rise more than a degree or two for 100 miles in every direction. So even when there was snow we could only sled if pulled by a 4-wheeler.

Enough of this Arkansas snow day history. Here are some pictures and one short video of our day in the snow. I hope you enjoy them.

Fix My Buzz

2011-01-11T09:30:00.000-06:00

Kids always get duplicates of toys on every gift giving occasion. We were lucky this year that we only had one duplicate for Christmas. Last week Arica and I took Braden along to Wal Mart to return the duplicate toy and get another.

Our thinking was that we would get him some sort of Buzz Lightyear toy. Braden is on a huge Toy Story kick lately. He asks to watch Buzz at some point every day. Some days he never stops watching it. We got Braden all three movies for Christmas and he likes them all. We knew he would because he was mesmerized by the trilogy when his Mom watched them all recently.

Toy Story 3 is probably his favorite though because he likes the train scene in the beginning. Other than that scene everything is all about Buzz.

When we went to Wal Mart Braden wanted to play with the toy we were returning. To help encourage him to let us return it we promised him a Buzz. So the entire time we were standing in the return line Braden kept saying, "I get my Buzz. I get my Buzz."

Finally we made the transaction after the cashier asked for my ID, made me take it out, and swiped it. I guess he thought I was running a scam by going around the country and stealing $15 dollar toys just so I could return them to Wal Mart. And just to add to the disguise I brought along a woman and a small child that I kidnapped from McDonald's.

Nonetheless, we had our gift card, and we were off to the toy section.

First we handed Braden a rocket with Buzz as the driver. You shake it and Buzz and the rocket shoot off across the floor. Braden wanted that. Then he decided he wanted a Buzz figure. Then he wanted both. Then he wanted something else. Eventually he decided on the little Buzz action figure. It would be Braden's first action figure and it seemed like a good purchase. He was happy.

Before we even got out of the store Braden had to open his Buzz. So we opened it and handed it to him. He gripped it in his little paws and began pushing the buttons on Buzz's suit. Nothing happened. Then he pushed the button on his arm to fire the laser. Nothing happened. He tried to close Buzz's helmet. It wouldn't budge. Of course none of those things were intended to happen, but you try explaining that to a 2 year old.

All the way home all we heard was "bix my Buzz. Daddy bix my Buzz. Momma bix my Buzz" as Braden continually pushed the buttons with a disappointed look on his face. Finally we got home and he just threw Buzz aside.

All these talking toys have ruined our kids. I'm not sure many little boys even know how to make truck sounds anymore. Everything talks. Everything sings. Everything makes noises to drive Mommy and Daddy crazy.

I am happy to say, however, that Braden can make truck noises. And that next day he and Buzz became best friends. Now Buzz goes almost everywhere with Braden including "to infinity and beyond!"

Toddler Bed Conversion

2011-01-07T09:12:00.000-06:00

I've written a lot about milestones. After all raising a kid is an endless series of milestones, especially in the early years. I've marked the first food, the first steps, and even the first time we had to buy a gallon of milk. That last one was pretty popular so I think I'll give you the link.

On Sunday night I got my butt in gear and prepared our home for the next milestone. We were going to give it a try no matter the cost. It was time to convert Braden's crib into a toddler bed.

While I was making the conversion, Braden came in to watch. I told him I was fixing his bed because he is always asking me to "bix" something. He also has some toy tools that he plays with and will say, "Daddy. I bix" as he pokes and prods at whatever he has deemed broken. I also tried to explain I was making his bed into a big boy bed, but that didn't seem to resonate. Braden kept reading his books only to look up every few minutes and say, "Daddy bix my bed?"

When I was done Arica came on the scene to add the finishing touches. She brought in the Lightning McQueen sheets, bedspread, and pillow case to dress up the bed.

Braden's eyes absolutely lit up. He couldn't wait to get in the bed. We had to literally force him to wait until his Mommy was finished making the bed before he climbed aboard.

As soon as she was done he bounced into the bed and laid down all the while carrying on about his new bed and Lightning McQueen. He was so excited. Laying there he looked like such a big boy it was hard to believe. It's like you flip a switch when the crib is gone. Little boy bedspreads and pillows seem to make all the difference in the world as well. The whole room now looks that much more grown up.

Later that night Braden actually went to bed about 15 minutes early because he just couldn't wait. And he slept all night. We were pleasantly surprised. I was certainly dreading what he would do with his new found nighttime freedom.

Monday night came and he wasn't quite as excited about bedtime. It was like any other night, but eventually he begrudgingly got in bed.

We could hear him in his bed talking for quite a while. Then we heard his door shut followed by the sound of little footsteps. Hoping to nip this thing in the bud, I went back to have a talk with Braden about getting out of bed.

A few minutes later, as if I had never spoken to him, Braden gets up and shuts the door again. This time the footsteps are running, presumably back to the bed. Arica, being the far more successful disciplinarian, went to have a talk with our little nighttime doorman this time.

A few minutes later the door shuts and the footsteps scurry. This time we decide to just let it go. And wouldn't you know Braden went silent. He fell asleep and slept all night again.

Maybe we were too loud. Maybe the lights were too bright. Either way Braden just wanted to shut the door and get a good nights sleep.

Sugar Bowl Crash

2011-01-05T10:11:00.000-06:00

I had something else planned to write about today, but the events of life often change our plans. Of course this is about the devastating Sugar Bowl loss that was handed to the Razorbacks and the entire state of Arkansas last night. All around the state today people sit at their places of work and blankly stare at the walls with thoughts of what if?

What if Joe Adams could catch a football?

What if Mallet hadn't thrown the ball directly to a DE in the final seconds of the game?

What if the Hogs could tackle Pryor?

What if the defense had recovered that fumble on OSU's first drive?

What if the DB's batted down one of those TD passes when they were in great position?

What if the Hogs had picked up the blocked punt and scored?

This type of speculation will go on until next fall. That is the curse of losing a bowl game. Most people can't get that taste out of their mouth until another game is played. But I'm writing today because that's just not me anymore. I still love the Razorbacks way too much. I still got very mad and may or may not have screamed obscenities when Mallet threw that last interception. I had trouble getting to sleep last night, and the first thing I thought of this morning was the loss.

Then I saw my beautiful wife. I knew she hadn't slept well last night. She's had a headache for about 36 hours straight. She said she was really tired. At that time football meant nothing. Arica is pregnant with two special little babies. She is struggling with feeling bad a lot of the time. All I wanted to do was help her feel better. So I just sat there and rubbed her back for a few minutes.

Then Braden, who stayed with his Grandma last night, came home. He was happily jabbering on about everything. Then he gave me a big hug and any lingering feelings of loss and pain caused by the football game vanished completely.

Before getting married and having a kid a loss like this would linger for weeks. At totally unexpected times the pain of losing would shoot down my spine. It wouldn't take much to set off the mourning cycle all over again, but now I don't have time for that.

It is a great blessing to have things in my life much more important than a football game. Today things go right back to normal. My main focuses are to help out Arica as best I can and play with my little boy. Those things bring true and complete joy that easily overcomes the pain of watching a team of people I've never met lose a football game on TV.

Yes I'm still a big fan, and I was extremely upset about the loss. But this is the part where escaping the carefree days of youth is a good thing. Now I have grown up responsibilities. I have things to occupy my mind other than wondering why Petrino called a straight drop back pass on 4th and 1.

Life is full of blessings. One of those blessings is the ability to enjoy sporting competition by participating or by watching. A greater blessing though is the ability to share the joy of victory and to totally forget about the agony of defeat with my family.

2010: Year in Review

2011-01-03T15:01:00.001-06:00

Last Tuesday my boss enexpectedly said lets close down shop and come back on Monday. I said no sir. I will never abandon my post. I would rather work even if there is nothign to do.

If you believe that then you must be new here.

I got a surprise 5 day vacation and spent it all with my family. I didn't do any blogging related things. I thought I would go ahead and put that out there just for the insanely small chance that someone actually missed me.

Now that I am back I have a 2010 wrap up post to do. It is a little bit of Braden in pictures. I did one for 2009 if you want to get an idea of what you are in for. With that bring on 2011 as I look back fondly at 2010.

We started the year with something that looks like this, and man did we learn a lot.

We leaned water safety.

We fine tuned our baseball skills.

We learned to properly operate an ATV.

We even studied a little geology.

It wasn't all fun and games. Braden got banished to live with the dogs a time or two.

It was mostly fun and games though like this first trip to a ballgame in Springfield.

Mommy taught Braden the joys of snow cones.

Braden taught himself the joys of stickers.

Braden was a shrimpin boat captain on one day.

And caught some guinea pigs for his buddies in Peru on another.

Of course I couldn't leave out the fact that he even learned some skills with the ladies.

Braden actually did learn about Charlie Brown or "Cha Bown" after I joked about his Snoopy picture.

Only that dang gravity kept us from learning to fly.

We were ready to greet the aliens, but couldn't master the flying as noted above.

Braden turned 2 this year and he celebrated by spitting on a cake shaped like Mickey Mouse.

2010 was tiring.

And now it's time to go.

When it was all said and done we ended up with this

Happy New Year and best wishes for a great 2011!

Christmas Blard 2010

2010-12-23T11:50:00.000-06:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS

From Life of a New Dad to You

Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas via my first ever Blog Christmas Card (Blard). And yes Arica and I are at the real live Christmas Story House in Cleveland.

Random Christmas Thoughts

2010-12-21T14:27:00.000-06:00

I haven't done a random Tuesday post since December 22, 2009. That is exactly one year from tomorrow. This is Tuesday and this is a random thoughts post so I suppose technically it could be a Random Tuesday. Instead though I am calling it a Christmas random post because it's my blog and I can do what I want. Read on for this version of Random Christmas Thoughts on Tuesday.

If you are new around here click over and read the post I wrote about the true Christmas Spirit that our family experienced last year because of a stranger at Wal Mart. I read it again recently and I am still amazed.
The top of our Christmas tree was bent when we put it up this year. In all my infinite wisdom I tried to bend the metal post back straight while it was in its place at the top of the tree. This genius move snapped one of the plastic supports that holds the post in place. For a day or two we had a leaning tree. I eventually fixed it by snipping up a clothes hanger and duct taping enough pieces together to wedge them into place and provide the support missing because of the broken plastic rib. They don't teach you that in engineering school.
Our Church study group, for lack of a better term, is delivering food to needy families tonight. I am really excited. What better time of year is there to spread the love of Jesus by "Loving your neighbor".
Christmas shopping for Braden is fun. Apparently I am just a larger than normal kid with facial hair.
I'm ready to see Christmas Story again. This will be my first viewing since actually visiting the house. Don't believe me? Here it is.

While visiting the house we got a leg lamp night light and a leg light ornament complete with Fra-GEE-Lay box. And stay tuned for a leg lamp picture of yours truly and my better half in the days to come.
Finally it's time for some Christmas music. Last year I shared some Bob and Doug and Cheech and Chong. These are two of my favorite Christmas songs, but they are more reminiscent of a Canadian Christmas and a Christmas spent on hallucinogens than Christmas as I know it. This year I thought a little Charlie Daniels Christmas Time Down South would be more fitting. Warning: May pertain reference to redneck activity.

Pregnant with Twins - How Does It Feel?

2010-12-20T14:37:00.000-06:00

Anyone out there ever wonder what it feels like to be pregnant with twins? Ladies? Guys? Bueller?

Well I may not be the perfect person to tell you, but I live with someone who is an expert. I see her every day. After observing her for a few weeks I have been able to piece together a few things about the early portion of pregnancy with twins.

If I may use a technical term, the first trimester can be a tough time for a woman. Sidebar: If the term for one third of a mester is trimester, why is half the school year not called a bimester. These are the things that keep me up at night, but I digress. Arica has been extra sick, extra tired, and just plain feeling extra bad.

When she told her doctor that she was feeling a lot more sick this time than she did with Braden, he laughed and said, "There's a reason for that."

It would follow logically that with two babies a woman's body produces twice the hormones. These hormones are the ones that make a woman feel nauseous and get sick. So it's true. With twins you get twice as sick.

Consider this message a public service announcement, and don't ever say that this is not an educational blog. We strive to inform here at Life of a New Dad.

Please say a prayer for Arica too while your at it. We'd love for her to have more energy and feel a bit better while we are celebrating Christmas.

Curing the Christmas Blues

2010-12-17T10:46:00.000-06:00

Christmas can be a difficult time. I hear so many people say that they can't wait for Christmas to be over. It is too stressful. It is too much work. It costs too much money.

While I understand that this is the true reality we have here in this country, it still makes me sad. Some of you may call me a sentimental fool or something even worse, but Christmas still gives me a warm feeling in my heart. I can't help but be overwhelmed with joy because of the true nature of the holiday.

I have never used this blog to talk about my faith. But earlier this week I saw a tweet from my Pastor that said the number one time people will talk about faith is during the Christmas season. He followed that by saying we have a great opportunity. I would like to take advantage of that opportunity today. If I am honest I have to say that I have always been uncomfortable sharing this part of my life here. But I know from reading The Bible that being afraid to acknowledge my faith is dangerous business.

Jesus tells us, "Whoever acknowledges me before others, I will also acknowledge before my Father in heaven. But whoever disowns me before others, I will disown before my Father in heaven. " (Mathew 10:32-33)

This combination of things has compelled me to really talk about Christmas as I know it this year. I need to share why Christmas makes me truly happy and excited. How can I not be excited knowing the following truth.

I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord (Luke 2:10-11)

I want to take this opportunity to encourage everyone out there who is feeling down this Christmas to do something about it. I have a three pronged solution. Any one of the three will help lift your spirits. All three should do even better. Don't be down during this wonderful time of year. Take time to reflect on what Christmas means and then share that love with someone else. Without further ado here is my cure for the Christmas blues.

Pick up your bible and read the story of Jesus' birth. It is found in both Mathew Chapter 1 and Luke Chapter 2. If you don't have a bible visit Bible Gateway for an online version. God's word will comfort you while reminding you what this holiday is really about. It will also probably take you back to the happy times of your youth when you heard these words every year as part of some Christmas program. The story hasn't changed. We just neglect it.
Go to church and take in a Christmas service. One of my favorite services of the year has always been on Christmas Eve. That service is always filled with beautiful Christmas songs. Forget about the stresses of the season. Just sing and be happy.
Give. I don't mean give your nephew more toys or give your aunt a fruit cake. Give to the poor. Give to the needy. It's great to drop a few coins in the Salvation Army bucket, but to experience the true joy of giving it is better to get involved in a more personal way. Our church runs an organization in our town called Stomp Out Hunger where we feed local families in need. Our family is participating not only by giving food but by organizing bags and hopefully even delivering food. We all have heard that it is better to give than to receive. Well this year try it out. Be a cheerful giver to those less fortunate.

I am not here to judge how you spend your Christmas. I only want to share the things that make Christmas so special to me in the hope that it will make your holiday a little more enjoyable.

Most of you probably know by now that I am big on prayer. Odds are that if I have ever left a comment on your site then I have said a sincere prayer for you. My prayer right now is for everyone out there to have the best Christmas possible and to share it with all your family and friends. I pray your holiday season is filled with overwhelming love.

Merry Christmas!

Philippians 4:13 and My Life

2010-12-15T10:09:00.000-06:00

Now for the post you have all been waiting for. What is it really like for us now that we know we are having twins? I'm glad you asked. Today I offer you some of the top things we are dealing with along with a new motto. After all, if anybody needs a new motto it's me.

Arica, Braden, and I currently live in a 2 bedroom home. That is 0.67 bedrooms per resident, which is a decidedly bad ratio when one is considering expanding their family. Knowing this Arica and I put our house on the market with the optimistic hope that our homes distinct charm and location in one of the cities best neighborhoods would be enough to garner interest even in a terrible economy. Our optimism was rewarded with a harsh slap in the face.

Now that we have found out our family will be growing at twice the expected rate our bedroom per resident ratio is even more troubling. So instead of staying above the fray Arica and I now have to consider jumping into the fight for scraps in this buyers market. We have to fight for buyers with the pit bulls known as repossessed homes. They win out over the people who actually were able to afford their mortgages. Such a wonderful mess we have here.

Basically the choices we have are to severely discount our house in hopes of selling it, build on to our house or somehow transform it, or live in squalor.

In a positive development our Real Estate agent is quitting real estate altogether. Yes, this is a positive development. He has been terrible. I am already excited about the new guy after only talking to him once.

No matter the agent, trying to sell the house leads to the most complicated of financial calculations. I am of course an engineer not an accountant. I do have impressive spread sheet skills, however, that I have been putting to good use trying to figure out where we fit into this whole mess financially. It goes something like this: My salary minus debt plus anything that is not nailed down and thus available to sell minus diapers for two more kids plus hopefully no more diapers for Braden plus various associated fees that will go away minus increases in insurance and property taxes minus baby gear minus baby food and so on.

Then there is the sleeping situation no matter what house we are in. Braden needs to learn how to sleep in a toddler bed as soon as possible. By doing this Braden will allow us to use his crib for the babies thus avoiding the costly purchase of another crib or two. This money stuff figures into that calculation above some how but my head is still spinning so we'll come back to that.

The problem with the sleeping thing is that Braden wakes up in the middle of the night and wants to watch cartoons 4 or 5 nights a week. Without a cage keeping him in place there is no way that he will ever go to sleep. He'll be roaming the house all night like a zombie bent on destruction. Yet the situation has to be dealt with soon.

There is also the potty training situation that I have been writing about lately. Getting Braden out of diapers before the babies arrive would be a great help. So we have that going as well.

These are just some highlight points. There are plenty of other areas that need addressing as well. In closing I have to say that I am going to need God on my side for this one. I am so thankful that He has promised to watch after me. I know He will. With that, here is my new motto.

Philippians 4:13: I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

And that includes raising Braden and twins.

Toes

2010-12-13T13:17:00.000-06:00

Since we are already on the potty training subject I have a story to share.

Braden pretty much only goes to the bathroom when asked. Sometimes he tells us, but not often. And he is apparently still savoring the taste of victory on that one poop in the toilet. He hasn't done it since, and doesn't really seem interested.

On Sunday my Dad and I were watching football on TV when my Dad noticed Braden lying very still on the floor. This is Braden's pooping position. Normally he goes to a corner as well, but this time he did it right at our feet. Of course he told us he didn't need to go to the bathroom.

By the time I got him there the dirty deed was done. Braden did pee in the toilet so I guess it was a partial victory. We talked again about how he needs to tell me when he needs to poop. We'll keep at it.

Before going to the bathroom I had gathered my supplies. I had a clean pull-up and a box of wipes by my side. After wiping I reached down and picked up the diaper off the floor and began to put it on Braden.

As his leg went through the appropriate leg hole Braden stared screaming TOES! TOES!

It was at about this time that I felt something mushy in my hand. I looked down and noticed that I had grabbed the wrong diaper. I was dressing my son in his old poop filled pull-up.

So there we were. Braden was standing on one foot and shoving his poop smeared toes into my face while I tried to balance him and clean his toes with my one still unsoiled hand. It was a proud parenting moment for me. Life with small children is never dull.

And we're having two more.

The Potty Training Race Against Time

2010-12-10T11:06:00.000-06:00

One of the many challenges of raising twins will be continuing to raise Braden. We will have to be sure that we make time to spend with him. It seems almost cruel that he will go from the focal point of our world for nearly 3 years to a mere third child all at once.

Arica and I have already talked about how we must make it a priority to continue spending time with Braden. We will have to take special Braden only outings so that he can receive our full attention. I need to start practicing that today on this blog as well.

With all the excitement that has turned our world upside down in the past week I have neglected to share some of Braden's accomplishments. Specifically I haven't told any tales about beginning the potty training adventure.

While Braden is at home with Arica these days we have been keeping him in pull ups. Arica will ask him many times a day if he needs to use the bathroom. He will pee almost every time you take him. That is a good thing. He gets excited about the process. Most of his excitement comes from the awarding of M&Ms, but that is exactly why he gets them.

Braden sometimes will even tell Arica or myself that he needs to use the bathroom. Braden will tell you by saying, "Mama. I pee pee." To me that is a huge deal. The fact that once in a while he knows he needs to go to the bathroom is a big success.

We experienced another success when earlier this week Braden told his Mom, "Mama. I poop." Arica took him to the bathroom and Braden did his business. It was his first poop in the toilet. I didn't expect that for months. We were all VERY excited. Pooping in the toilet is a big step in the right direction.

I am aware that it will be a slow process, but we have extra motivation now. The thought of having 3 kids in diapers at the same time is enough to make any parent potty train with the intensity of an Israeli security force. Two new babies will push the first kid right on out of babyhood, whether we are ready for that or not.

I once said I wanted to replace boxes of diapers with boxes of beer. Well now I just want to replace them with boxes of smaller diapers. Things change.

Top Ten Thoughts On Twins

2010-12-07T12:31:00.000-06:00

I promise that I will have a serious take on this matter coming soon. Then in the months to follow I will have every different kind of update and philosophical pondering. Of course those will be blended well with OH %!@# moments. The truth of the matter is that every thought I have is consumed by this situation. But for now I just want to laugh. So here is a light hearted list of the top ten things I thought when informed we were having twins.

I picked the wrong day to stop sniffing glue.
Holy #$%!#
Are you drunk lady?
How many is twins?
I wonder if Wal Mart is hiring.
Do they give "father of twins" discounts at the nut house?
This lady is about as funny as George Lopez.
One fish. Two fish. Red fish. Blue fish.
Two more and we've got a basketball team.
Breathe.

Are You Sitting Down?

2010-12-03T14:50:00.000-06:00

Friday morning I got the most shocking news of my life. I felt like Clark Griswold in Christmas Vacation when he tells Cousin Eddie, "If I woke up tomorrow morning with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn't be more surprised than I am now."

You see this news has changed my entire outlook on life. All of my expectations and plans have changed. These plans haven't been rendered useless, but they do need tweaking. Before today I was confident that I had a good grasp on how our lives would unfold. Just when you start thinking that, God steps in and says not so fast my friend.

I was waiting for the right time to share some news with all of you. Well the time is now. Arica is pregnant. We have known for a little while, but tried to keep it secret. We finally gave up on that and told our families last week. Now I am sharing it with you so I can tell this story.

Today I went with Arica for her first OB visit. We went a week earlier than scheduled because Arica was having some pains that we wanted to have checked out. After listening to the doctor I was a bit concerned. He thought everything was OK, but it was clear from his mannerisms that he wasn't completely sure. He requested that Arica get an ultrasound to make sure everything looked good.

As we went across the hall with the tiny little ultrasound lady, my heart was in my throat. Butterflies were flying around in my stomach. What if something was wrong?

The ultrasound lady played a little picture pages and then had an opening question. From those words I could tell that she had some news to share with us. We knew Arica was pregnant already so I didn't really expect good news. I certainly didn't expect in my wildest dreams what was coming next.

WE ARE HAVING TWINS!!!

Stitch Me Up Scotty

2010-12-02T09:53:00.000-06:00

Today Braden goes to have his stitches removed. What? You didn't know he had stitches?

That's life at our house. Things happen so fast that I can't get them recorded. Without being recorded precious moments like baby's first stitches could be forgotten. Recording them here ensures the memory will last at least until computers rise up and take over the world.

So as I make this digital journal entry about Braden's accident I am reminded to be thankful for this blog. Without it I certainly wouldn't be able to remember every exciting detail of these early years.

So back to my story. Braden took a flying leap last Wednesday November 30, 2010. He didn't reach his intended target and fell backwards smashing his head into the corner of a door. Screaming and blood flowed from the poor little man or so I heard. All this ended with 4 stitches.

I've tried unsuccessfully in recent days to put into words what life with this little dude is like. Remember Avatar?

I tease his Mom that she is going to be a nervous wreck for the next 20 years. I still believe that. I just didn't know it was going to start so soon.

Braden Says

2010-11-29T16:21:00.000-06:00

Let's talk about talking. Braden talks all the time. Sometimes it is complete gibberish, but most of the time it is understandable. He has been constructing sentences for quite a while. His vocabulary knows little bounds. Since he talks all the time I thought maybe I should share a few of his gems with you. Here is just a sampling of the conversational fun we have with Braden on a daily basis.

For some reason he has started to interject the word me into a lot of his sentences. He says stuff like, "I me play," or "I me TeeTee," which is Braden for I want to watch TV. My favorite use of me goes like this. Arica or I will say I love you to Braden and he responds, "I ove you me too."
Last week when Arica, Braden and I were all sitting, or more correctly wallowing around, on the couch we had another funny moment with Braden. I said to Braden isn't Mama pretty. Braden answered, "I petty too."
Braden spends much of his day impersonating the Tasmanian devil. He is a whirling dervish of destruction. Anyone in the room is constantly in danger of getting hit or tackled or being used in another less than pleasant way. Despite his rough ways he is a sweet boy too. He gives plenty of hugs and kisses. On top of that he has great manners. Lately when he wants more of anything he has started saying, "Mo pease." He does it without any prompting from anyone. It is just his polite way of saying he wants more snacks or milk or TV.
Arica wrapped up some clothes for Braden to open at his second birthday party. Arica like many women loves clothes and that includes for herself as well as Braden. She thought he would at least enjoy unwrapping the presents. Well once he opened the first one and saw clothes he said, "NO CLOTHES!" Very funny stuff.
Another phrase common to the New Dad household is "I did it!" Braden is quite proud of all his accomplishments. Since he is always doing something we hear this one a lot.
I'll close with one of the more frustrating things Braden says. "I don't want it." The most common version of this right now is "I don't want bed" or "I don't want sleep". And he means it. That is why several nights a week for the past month either Arica or myself is up with a little boy at 3 AM because he doesn't want sleep, but instead he'll say "I me Tee Tee."

Happy Thanksgiving

2010-11-25T06:00:00.003-06:00

Writing a serious post about Thanksgiving is difficult. I have been so blessed in my life that there is no way I could ever be thankful enough. If I were to give a speech about my life reminiscent of an awards show acceptance speech I would be giving thanks long after they started playing the music and cut to commercial.

To borrow something I heard in church recently I was blessed by simply being born in this country. So for starters I would have to climb up a few branches on my family tree and thank some people for making the voyage to America. The day they made that decision blessed me and my family forever. Something as simple as my place of birth is truly a blessing.

Sometimes though life gets out of sorts. Instead of simply being thankful for something like that we all want more. We need better toys, a bigger house, or a newer car. We need designer clothes and expensive furniture. I guess that is fine, but sometimes in a world where so many people go without it seems out of balance.

This Thanksgiving I want to take time to remember the simple things. Hopefully the act of thanking God for the things that really matter will help spur me towards a life where I can readjust my mindset. Hopefully I can learn to focus on the important stuff in my life.

I am going to be thankful I have a house rather than wishing it was bigger. I am going to be thankful for this country rather than complaining about its politics. I am going to be thankful for my job rather than complaining about the work. I am going to be thankful for the time I have rather than complaining about the lack thereof. I am going to be thankful that I have more than one place to go for Thanksgiving rather than bemoaning the choices we have to make.

If I came home today to find nothing left but Arica and Braden I would still consider myself lucky. A man with a family like mine is truly blessed no matter what. That is what I have always liked so much about Thanksgiving. It is about food and family rather than gifts and decorations.

It is our one day as Americans to put an emphasis on a family meal time celebration. For one Thursday in November our priorities appear more Italian than American. We get to gather around a table with family and share stories, a few laughs, a 15 pound turkey, and most importantly love. I hope everyone has a great holiday weekend spending time with the people they truly love.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Random Thanksgiving Eve

2010-11-24T10:15:00.000-06:00

I have some odds and ends to share before taking a Thanksgiving break. So read on for some important information that could very well make your life better. If it makes your life worse there will be no refund.

First some business my friend Surprised Mom, or should I say City Mom Chicago, is now the happy owner of a toilet wand and a football thanks to the folks at Clorox. Feel free to use the toilet wand in an attempt to magically change the football into a better prize.
Dressing or stuffing, if you prefer, is my favorite Thanksgiving food. I make my all time favorite dressing. I also get to make the dressing for Arica's family Thanksgiving. Let this be a lesson to all the kids out there. If you love a certain food then learn to cook it yourself. Never let your appetite go unrequited.
Braden had his second nurse maid's elbow incident Monday. The doctor sent us for an x-ray but we didn't go. That's right. I decided I knew more than the doctor. And I was right. The doctor's office called later and was less than pleased. They said, "we have been waiting to hear something all day." Now they know how their patients feel.
I am getting more and more blog traffic but fewer and fewer comments. What gives? I blame Twitter. Everyone is over there talking all the time. If you are here today leave a comment. If you are shy just say Hello.
Braden is going through a three week spell where he wakes up between three and four every night. He will not go back to sleep. Sometimes I try to take him to the couch and sleep with him. He will just sit up and stare off into the darkness. The only way to make him happy is to turn on the TV. Eventually he will get tired and go to sleep if you just leave him alone. So for the last several nights I have watched cartoons in the wee hours of the morning. The Disney lineup goes something like this Little Einsteins, Timmy Time, Chuggington, Handy Manny, and eventually you get to Mickey Mouse. This is not information that I care to know.
Sometimes it is impossible to get a picture of Braden. Arica will take 20 pictures and every single one will be of the side of Braden's head. He has an uncanny ability to avoid the camera without even breaking stride. He just carries on with a turned head. Then sometimes he gets right up in your face and says CHEESE!

Avatar Describes My Child

2010-11-22T11:14:00.000-06:00

There are a few constants in my life. Greatest among them are Arica, Braden, and probably the TV. Since this is a blog about being a Dad it only makes sense that I would eventually compare Braden to TV. Well that day has come.

People never seem to understand why Arica and I have so little free time. They never understand why we say it is so tiring watching Braden. They don't understand why we need to have two parents around as often as possible. These people either raised or have only been around calm kids. They haven't been exposed to kids like Braden. That is the only answer. Because if they watched Braden for a few hours they would not only understand, but they would add us to their daily prayer list as well.

Thinking about this recently I came up with a comparison between watching different types of kids and watching TV. The first and oldest way to watch TV these days is what we now call standard definition TV. It is grainy. It's not to clear. SDTV is just there. SDTV kids are much the same. They are just there. They don't jump into your face. They aren't exceedingly vibrant or colorful. Maybe they are thinkers, and behave much like the statue of the same name. Regardless of the reason it is even possible to forget these kids are in the room at times.

The next type of TV viewing is high definition TV. This TV format has become so common that it is becoming the standard for TV watching. HDTV is made up of much more vivid colors and a clearer picture. It draws your attention and often times simply demands to be watched. It is much harder to ignore HDTV. HDTV kids are just the same.

The newer type of TV entering the market is 3D TV. Watching TV or a movie in 3D is a much more interactive experience. The show leaps off the screen and right into your face. A 3D kid will do the same. You can't ignore them. They will just climb up in your lap and poke you in the face if you try.

Well Braden is even beyond 3D. I have decided watching him is like watching Avatar 3D in the movie theater. If you went to the theater to see James Cameron's creation then this analogy probably makes a lot more sense. I have never been more immersed in a movie before. It was colorful. It was full of action. And all of it seemed to happen right in my lap.

So there you have it. Watching Braden is like being attacked by flying multicolored dragon birds while giant blue people with magical ponytails try to pierce your heart with an arrow. Any questions?

Football on Thanksgiving

2010-11-19T09:10:00.000-06:00

I am participating in a giveaway for the first time ever. I am no Bob Barker so you're not getting....A NEW CAR!!!! It's a fairly modest giveaway, but it involves football. How could I resist the opportunity to get a few free things while talking about football. I am going to talk about it anyway so why not get the free stuff too.

This post is in conjunction with the Clorox Toilet Bowl Contest. Click on over and learn how to win a trip to New Orleans to play in the first ever Clorox Toilet Bowl flag football game. The celebrity QB will be former Florida Gator QB, NFL bench warmer, and current ESPN analyst Jesse Palmer. For all the ladies out there I believe he was once the bachelor too. Feel free to make any tight end jokes now.

Now that we have done that let's talk a little about Thanksgiving and football. Thanksgiving is probably my favorite holiday. There is nothing like family and food. My favorite tradition it to eat so much that it makes me miserable. I think that is why someone decided long ago to put football on TV on Thanksgiving Day. While you are laying on the couch with a swollen stomach listening to your older male relatives snore off the tryptophan nothing can lift your spirits like watching the Cowboys. Unfortunately this year the Cowboys can only amplify any feelings of queasiness.

While our family has never played our own flag football game the sport has always been a part of Thanksgiving for me. In 1996 a new football tradition was added to our Thanksgiving repertoire, The Battle for the Golden Boot seen below.

Starting that year Arkansas and LSU began playing the Friday after Thanksgiving for that huge golden trophy. On alternating years I would either spend that Friday off watching the game on TV or in the stands in Little Rock. Recently the game has been moved back to Saturday, but it still always occurs on the week of Thanksgiving. And this year on the Saturday after Thanksgiving Arica and I will join my parents in the stands for what could possibly be a meeting of two top ten teams. I am excited already.

So there you have it. I eat as much turkey and dressing as humanly possible. I watch a little of the Cowboys. I try and do a little deer hunting. Then I cheer on my beloved Razorbacks sometimes even in person. That is my Thanksgiving tradition and it always involves football.

So here is where you get the chance to win a football and a Clorox Toilet wand. I know it sounds glamorous, but that it is just life as usual here at Life of a New Dad. Think of it this way. You will be receiving two Christmas gifts. A football is great for a little boy on your list. And you can give the toilet wand to your wife.

Just kidding. Don't do that. Don't even think of doing that. In fact let's pretend I didn't even say that.

All you have to do is leave me a comment preferably about football. If not about football then just say something funny. Whether it is funny or not will be left up to our judges (me). I don't want any followers just for the giveaway so only a comment is needed. I have gained all my followers without any giveaways and I want to keep it that way. The giveaway will be done next Wednesday November 24th so I don't forget about it over the holidays.

In case I don't see you again Have a Happy Thanksgiving everybody.

I wrote this review while participating in a blog tour campaign by Dad Central Consulting on behalf of Clorox and received a gift code, toilet wand and football to thank me for taking the time to participate.

Birthday Week Is Over

2010-11-17T14:36:00.000-06:00

I have to post about Braden's Birthday one last time this year. We had two parties and the second one has not received its own post yet.The main purpose of this blog is to record our experiences because our memories are sure to fail some day. I don't want to forget Braden's second second birthday party so I am wrapping up Birthday Week with a post about it now.

If you would rather have the reflective birthday post click HERE. If you missed Braden's Mickey Mouse party then try HERE. After catching up with all our celebrations read on to see about the Cars party.

Braden's party was on the day after his birthday. On his actual birthday Arica and I took him to our favorite Mexican restaurant for the sombrero and song treatment. The only guy that can play the guitar was taking a siesta so we had to settle for the sombrero only. And of course the adults ate good Mexican food while Braden explored the area immediately surrounding our back corner table.

Then we went to Chik-fil-a to play at the play ground. Braden likes the slide.

He went down in every conceivable position including heat first with two other kids in tow.

At the party Saturday Braden was impatient. We opened presents first. Here he is in his first car.

He blew out his candle by himself again. At the rate of 2 parties a year he is already a pro.

Of course he did his normal icing taste test.

After all the partying and present opening he looked like this.

It was a happy birthday indeed.

Happy Birthday Braden

2010-11-12T06:00:00.001-06:00

Before you came along my favorite male companion was a dog.
Before you came along my favorite late night snack was beer.
Before you came along I didn't watch cartoons.
Before you came along I hadn't played with hot wheels in decades.
Before you came along I didn't ever sit in the floor.
Before you came along I didn't read aloud.
Before you came along I didn't change diapers or give baths.
Before you came along I always slept through the night.
Before you came along I had never been to a pumpkin patch.
Before you came along our house was generally quiet.
Before you came along I had never folded tiny clothes.
Before you came along I had never fed another person.
Before you came along I had a pool table.

Now I am in the floor every night in the area where a pool table once stood playing with cars and putting together puzzles. I read. I watch cartoons. I eat cereal. Our house is loud all the time and toys are scattered across the floor. I am now educated on many things about raising a baby and I am almost always tired.

For people without kids that last paragraph probably reads like a Stephen King novel. For those of you with children it sounds all too familiar. I guess that is one of the biggest changes brought on by parenthood, the change in perception.

In two years with Braden I have learned that my perception of what my life with children would be like was about as accurate as the once strongly held belief that the Earth was flat. I had this misconstrued idea that Braden's life would fit nicely inside the molds that had been formed by my experiences and Arica's experiences.

Well parenting has taught me that the exact opposite is true. As parents our lives will be lived inside of the boundaries formed by Braden's experiences. It has already started to happen. You can see that by reading the list above. I am eating Honey Combs. I have learned the names of every character on Cars from Mater to Snot Rod. I am reading Dr. Seuss and singing along with Mickey Mouse. I am living in Braden's world.

I wrote a post not long ago that got some attention over at Reddit titled You Haven't Lived. A couple commenters thought it was a bit insensitive for me to insinuate that people without children haven't lived a full life. Of course that was not my intention. I am certainly not conceited enough to think that I know what is the fullest way for other people to live their lives. Everyone has their own journey.

I should have said "I haven't lived" because that is the absolute truth. I had been to France, Italy, Hungary, Germany, Costa Rica, Malaysia, and Thailand. I had been to Fenway, Wrigley Field, and the old Yankee Stadium. I followed the Hogs to three bowl games, an SEC championship game, and both the SEC and SWC basketball tournaments. I had been to the beach on four continents. I partied for the better part of a decade. I had even conned the most beautiful girl in the world into marrying me. Anyone that has been around a while can plainly see that was my greatest achievement.

Yet, despite all that, I hadn't truly lived until Braden was born. I know Arica feels the same way. So, Braden, thanks for letting us live in your little world. It is an honor to be your parents.

Happy 2nd Birthday Braden! We love you!

Hunting Safely

2010-11-10T14:11:00.000-06:00

I'm going to break up this Birthday week with a little talk about deer hunting. Modern gun season in Arkansas opens on Saturday, and I will join thousands of other hunters that morning in my quest to kill a deer. Time in the woods has always been a little like therapy for me. It helps me decompress. If the decompression gets interrupted by killing a deer all the better.

As I have mentioned before many of my greatest memories with my Dad involve hunting. I can't wait until Braden is old enough to hunt with me. Those times shared in the woods will be amazing. But just like any other father I will have the responsibility of teaching my son how to be safe in the woods.

Hunting probably scares a lot of parents. I know Arica is not crazy about guns herself. I try to comfort her by saying that I am extremely careful with guns and I will always teach Braden to be as well. "Unloaded" guns kill a lot of people. That is why it is imperative to treat any gun as loaded, and to never point a gun towards another person. NEVER.

When I first started hunting my dad showed me a demonstration of a guns destructive power. I'm not saying I will do this, but it has stuck with me all my life. My dad took his shotgun and shot a roughly 3-inch diameter tree. Of course the gun destroyed the tree toppling it to the ground. Dad said something to the effect of "just imagine what it could do to a person." That may be a little too John Wayne for today's society, but it worked.

I don't think many of my readers hunt. Maybe there are some of you lurking out there that prefer to remain quiet. If so, please be careful as you hit the woods this year. Please teach your children gun safety. The anti gun nuts already want to take our guns from us. Don't give them a reason.

Birthday Week

2010-11-09T11:40:00.001-06:00

Birthday week is upon us, and it feels a lot like what I imagine Super Bowl week feels like for the teams involved. There are many preparations to be made. We have to game plan and make sure we are ready. The only difference is at the end of Birthday week we are guaranteed a party. We don't have to fight for the right to party like the Beastie Boys or the two Super Bowl combatants.

Birthday week kicked off in full on Sunday with a party at my Mom and Dad's house. Braden got to celebrate his birthday early so all the family in that area which is 2.5 hours away could celebrate with him. It helps them celebrate more easily, and it also gives Braden the opportunity to have 2 parties. He deserves it.

So with Braden's 2nd birthday approaching on Friday we have already celebrated once. Look at all the fun we had and you will see why we are so excited to do it again this weekend.

The first party was a Hot Dog party. That's Mickey Mouse if you didn't know. Braden's friend Big Hot Dog even showed up.

Braden blew out all his candles by himself.

Then he fell into the cake.

Here's proof on his shirt.

And here's more proof.

Braden loves cake no matter if it is smashed or not.

Then we opened some presents.

And more presents.

Finally we closed out the day with candy and a few smiles.

Halloween Is Different

2010-11-05T10:41:00.000-05:00

We loaded Braden into his wagon Sunday night and took him on his first full fledged trick or treating adventure. It was also my first trip since I quit asking strangers for candy decades ago. And in that time things have changed dramatically.

In some ways a kid can really benefit. Every church we passed by in the past week had a sign outside advertising a fall festival or a trunk or treat. In our little community there were things scheduled Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. We made one of the festivals, but if a person were truly ambitious he could get enough candy to last the entire year. All you need to do is go church hopping.

Much like a college kids efforts to find companionship and alcohol by going from bar to bar, a small child can seek out copious amounts of sugary goodness from various places of worship. By the end of the night, drunk on candy, the kids would have much the same blank stare and altered mind set as the aforementioned coeds. The day after Halloween hangover can be nasty as well.

With all these new techniques to make Halloween safer for the kids it seems like something has been lost. The feeling of community is gone just a bit. Yes you can go see your church family at the fall festival, but what about the little old lady on the corner or the guy three houses down that mows his yard three times a week? What about your neighbors?

As we went out Sunday night towing Braden behind in his wagon we were met with apathy. Most of the houses on our street were completely dark. Not only did the owners turn off the porch light to keep away little kids, but most of them turned off every light in the house as well. It was like they were huddled in the closet with a flashlight praying that no one would knock on the door. Maybe they were truly scared of Halloween goblins, but more likely they were just being anti-social sticks in the mud.

Maybe I'm old fashioned, but this makes me sad. It's sad that we live in a world where people are more concerned about themselves than they are about small children. I have a son that is nearing two years old in a world where his neighbors would rather sit in darkness than give him candy. That is depressing.

Thankfully we found several houses that were open for business. And in this environment I appreciated those people all the more. You might even say they helped restore my faith in humanity. One little old lady was wearing a mask and a witches hat. She also passed out fake bugs in a failed attempt to scare the kids. We need more people like that.

I have never been a Halloween person. I would like to take this opportunity to apologize for that. Kids out there deserve a day when they can get all the candy they want. They deserve to roam the streets dressed as their heroes. They deserve a great Halloween, and it is up to us to make that happen.

To those of you who did. Thank you. The rest of you need to get your act together. After all look how happy it made Yoda.

Time

2010-11-03T14:31:00.000-05:00

Time is eternal. Yet for each of us our time on earth is only temporary. The amount of time we have is finite, and even worse yet is the fact that we don't know when the end will come.

So why do I continue to worry about how much time I can spend deer hunting this year? Why do I worry about how to finagle the weekend schedule so I can watch the game? Why am I so concerned about getting to work when I have a sick kid at home?

Sure I need to work. It pays the bills. I even need to go deer hunting. It helps keep me refreshed and sane.

Still, why can't I spend just as much time worrying about how to make the weekend special for my son? Why can't I spend more time planning weekend activities for our family?

I think it comes down to the sinful desire to be in control of everything and the need to get what I want in life. Sometimes it's like being the driver of a bus that just went over a cliff. I can beat my chest and say look at me I am driving this bus. I am in control. But the reality is that I have lost control and the bus is going to crash. Often times the struggle for control ends up just like that. One party wrestles control from the other only to get a bird's eye view of the disaster they caused.

It would be much more enjoyable to be a passenger on a safe and happy bus than to be the driver of that bus headed for doom. Based on that poor analogy one can infer that I think the solution is to give up control. That is certainly easier said than done, but giving of myself is the best thing I can do as a Dad and husband.

I think I will always struggle with selfishness. I hope I can make steady improvements though. There is no time guaranteed to any of us, so there is no room for procrastination. I have to go out today and make the most of the time I have.

I plan to start by giving both my wife and son a big hug when I get home. Time is my greatest luxury. Giving it all to them would be my greatest gift.

Boy Parts

2010-11-01T10:53:00.000-05:00

Arica and I have two friends and one sister-in-law that are currently pregnant. In the past month I have seen ultrasound pictures of both friend's babies. One was the first ultrasound. The other was that ever proud sex determining second ultrasound.

Our friends proudly showed us the picture so carefully labeled with the words "boy parts" (couldn't a medical professional come up with a better term?). They could barely contain their joy. Their little swimmer had boy parts. This little phrase and the sharing of black and white photos has long since surpassed the traditional declaration of "it's a boy" that used to follow right after birth.

I think it's a good thing. It gives everyone the opportunity to be ready with gender specific baby gear when the little one arrives. The pre-birth sexing has virtually done away with appalling gender neutral nursery designs. Maybe now we can do away with dessert colored walls altogether.

However, with this new way of doing business a strange tradition is being formed. All around America there is an army of pregnant women carrying around pictures of their unborn sons' private parts. This is clearly the only time in our society that it is OK to carry around a naked picture of your child and show it to everyone you meet.

It is perfectly acceptable to see your aunt in Wal Mart and say hey we're having a boy. Look right there. You can see his penis.

The advent of these ultrasound DVDs is no different. They are like little in-utero adult movies. There are long periods of grainy footage that looks nothing like a human life intermingled with proclamations of "There it is!" or "Look right there. No there. See it?"

More aptly these things could be narrated as such, "blah, blah, blah, penis, blah."

Now I love technology just like the next guy. It has brought me unspeakable happiness, but sometimes it makes us act just plain crazy.

Of course if we have another boy some day we are going to show the picture pages to everyone just like we did the first time. I would just like to note that if aliens are watching us from some planet in a distant solar system, they probably think we are a little strange.

The Great Pumpkin

2010-10-29T07:00:00.002-05:00

This past weekend we made it back for year two at the pumpkin patch. Last year I learned Linus was not the only person who visited a pumpkin patch. Take note that Braden brought Linus with him this year via a super awesome shirt. I also learned that the pumpkin patch was a lot of fun. Arica and I agreed visiting the land of pumpkins would certainly become a family tradition. So this year we carried on the tradition.

There were animals to pet as usual. Here is Braden with the camels. I decided to name one camel Clyde. That is of course from the Ray Stephens classic Ahab the Arab. The other camel I called Joe. Just because the US Government killed Joe Camel doesn't mean I forgot him.

Here we are with Eeyore. I know that is a cliched donkey name but this dude was so sad looking he almost made me cry. He had to be Eeyore.

If you were around last year you might recall that Braden liked riding the John Deere train. Well things have changed a little this year. Braden doesn't like the train anymore. He now loves it more than his own father. He would happily trade me away for 3 minutes on that thing. He would ride it until the driver shut down the lawn mower locomotive. Then he would play somewhere else while keeping his ears tuned for that lawnmower sound. As soon as it started up Braden would go running as he yelled "Choo Choo Train!!!"

He loved the train so much that he even made one of the poor engineers drive him all by himself.

Braden also crashed the red shirt birthday party and rode with them in the caboose.

Even though Braden didn't care they had pumpkins there too. We even took a few home. If it were up to Braden we would have driven them all the way home in the John Deere choo choo train. He would have seen the 8 hour duration as a positive thing.

Happy Halloween!

Bribery for Children

2010-10-27T09:51:00.001-05:00

If you haven't raised a two year old in a while then you don't know what you are missing. It is all at once filled with fun and challenges. Life with Braden requires love, patience, wisdom, and many other traits. In fact caring for him requires an entire toolbox full of tools and techniques.

When raising a toddler there is no magic grouping of tools to solve all your problems. You can't fix everything with WD-40, duct tape, and vice grips like Walt Kowalski claims in Gran Torino. For Braden you need the entire Craftsman section of Sears.

One of my favorite tools is motivation. The proper motivation can turn any wild child into a perfect little angel. To many of us proper motivation as a child might have included the phrase "don't make me take off my belt!" Maybe your family had their own special version like "Don't make me hang you from the ceiling fan by your toes!"

Fear is always a good motivator, but what we initially found is that a more positive approach works better for Braden. You know the old you can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar theory.

Arica is the absolute master of this technique. For some time we couldn't get Braden to eat anything. He would fight you to the death over a meal. He would even fight to get out of eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

The only way to get him to eat was to offer him something of value. If you offered him a gummy for eating his meal then he would start chowing down. Proper Motivation.

We used gummies, cookies, stickers and other things to motivate the little man to eat. It was a breakthrough parenting moment for me. In my mind the official permission, even encouragement, to bribe my kid made so many goals seem a lot more achievable. All of a sudden parenting made a lot more sense.

Well as with anything in parenting as soon as you figure something out things change. Now Braden eats most of the time without any promise of reward, but there are still other areas where proper motivation is required. He might need motivation to quit running around the house so we can change his diaper. He might need motivation to pick up his toys or take his medicine. Motivation is necessary for kids of all ages and Braden is no different.

Unfortunately as his little rebellious streak grows and grows the sweet promise of candy is not always as enticing. It works sometimes, but it has to be balanced with the proper amount of discipline as well. Otherwise you just end up with a fit throwing kid with a mouth full of cavities.

So as times change so do our methods. The threat of a time out really does wonders for a kids behavior. I'll say it again. Proper Motivation.

A Toddler Scorned

2010-10-21T09:32:00.001-05:00

Braden's adenoid and tubes procedure was Monday, and for some reason I haven't found the time to write about it yet. I am slacking big time. Part of it is because I have been busy at work thus leaving me less time to goof off.

The procedure went great. The doctor's exact words were, "He did great, and everyone loved his monkey." My exact thoughts were, "Thanks for all the info doc. You were a great help. No wonder you made thousands of dollars for this 30 minute procedure. I love you."

My words were something more socially acceptable.

We were warned by practically everyone who had experienced a small child being on anesthesia, but I still wasn't fully prepared for the recovery room scene. What I witnessed made me think of throwing out the age old adage "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." Even though this statement has its merit I am still considering replacing it with "Hell hath no fury like a toddler coming off anesthesia."

Braden hit two nurses, two parents, a few stuffed animals, and maybe even a few fellow patients. He refused to drink anything or eat a popsicle so they could remove his IV. Instead he struggled to remove it on his own to the point that the nurse finally gave in and just took it out.

Within 10 seconds of having it removed Braden already had taken off the bandage. Then he took off the bandage on his arm. Then he continued his angry tirade.

When we finally got him home he took a nap and woke up feeling better. Since then he has often had a fever so he is on a steady dosage of Tylenol.

Basically Braden is his normal self for the majority of the day. He just gets tired more often due to the fever and Tylenol. Hopefully that will all go away soon.

So there you have it. Everyone survived the procedure. We all hated it, but hopefully it will mean a healthier winter for the little man.

Anesthesia Is Not a Pop Singer

2010-10-15T07:00:00.002-05:00

Surgery.

Anesthesia.

Those two words terrify me. I just can't help it. Call it negative connotation. Call it my own irrational fear. Call it what you like. I just don't like them.

Monday morning my fears will be magnified a million times.

Braden is being put under for surgery. I will be a bundle of nerves pacing the floor with sweaty palms. I will be trying my best to help comfort Arica while another part of my brain is engaging in a little self-help therapy.

Braden is getting tubes in his ears and his adenoids removed. It is a simple thing that only takes about 15 minutes, but I promise you they will be the longest 15 minutes of my life.

I can't help but be nervous. My little man will be undergoing his first real medical procedure since his first few days of life, and I won't be able to help out. I won't even be able to hold his hand.

So while you drink your coffee Monday morning or alternately partake in a caffeine free morning ritual of your choice, think about us. We will either be waiting in the surgery clinic or tending to a recovering toddler. Either way we could use a little extra support.

After clearing this hurdle we should be ready for a much more enjoyable winter season. Without this procedure the doctor assured us Braden would not get well for the rest of the winter.

We have had enough ear infections. We have spent enough time watching our son go through pain and discomfort. The pain all these colds and infections cause is enough to completely change our normally happy little man into an angry tyrant.

So we will take our nervous selves to the surgery clinic Monday morning and deal with the anxiety in order to help our son get better. That is all part of the parenting gig. You make decisions that you think are best for your child and then you have the courage to ride them out.

Monday morning Arica and I will be riding this one out from uncomfortable chairs situated along the wall in our own personal white tile prison. If we are lucky we can at least read some year old magazines while we wait.

Eating Like a Kid

2010-10-11T15:14:00.000-05:00

Today I would like to write a small thank you note to my son. Please don't click away just yet. It won't be any deep emotional stuff this time. While I have millions of great things to thank him for this one is just a little thing that takes me back to yester year.

I have mentioned eating all kinds of things since Braden arrived. I may be licking some sort of sauce off my hand or eating crumbs off the floor.

Sometimes I can be found polishing off a left over fish stick. We can't afford to waste food, even frozen sticks made of various types of fish.

Another of my favorite eating hobbies is flat out eating right from Braden's bowl whether it be chips, pretzels, crackers, or the subject of today's post, Honeycombs.

Thank you Braden for reintroducing me to the yummy goodness that is Honeycombs. Oh how I have missed you little crunchy combs of sweetness.

Now 3 or 4 times a week the first thing I do when Braden goes to bed is pour a bowl of cereal. Honeycombs make the perfect late night snack. All those years I was being all grown up and having a night cap were just wasted.

I should have been eating cereal and drinking sugar milk. (compliments to Mr. Ron Mattocks)

You Haven't Lived

2010-10-08T09:08:00.003-05:00

...until you have thrown your son so high in the air that you lost him in the sun.

...until you have watched your kid fill his bath tub buckets with cold water and then dump them on his head.

...until you have rolled 50 cars across the room on the hardwood floor one after another just for fun.

...until you have been vomited on by a newborn enough times that you don't even flinch anymore.

...until you can decipher your child's mood by the color of his poop.

...until you have eaten cereal you found on the floor because you didn't feel like walking to the trash can.

...until your body has been used as a toilet, a tissue, a napkin, and a jungle gym.

...until your kid commandeers your dinner plate and then scolds you for eating "his" food.

...until you develop a strong desire to hear a small human recite animal sounds.

...until you have eaten leftover dishes made by Gerber.

...until you have watched cartoons at 4 am.

...until you realize that all the stuff listed above is really the "good stuff" in life.

The Truth Shall Set You Free

2010-10-06T12:37:00.000-05:00

The Bible says in John Chapter 8, "Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."

This comment made by Jesus refers to the monumental truths of his teachings that are the basis of all Christianity, but doesn't any truth no matter how great or small allow you to be free.

In being truthful you are free from worrying about being caught, free from covering up lie after lie, free from telling the wrong lie or forgetting the lie you already told. Yet so many people prefer to lie or cover up things rather than tell the truth.

The virtue of honesty has been on my mind a lot lately because of some things that have happened at Arica's work. Rules were broken. Serious rules. The powers that be tried to cover up the mistakes, keeping them from parents. When the truth got out, and it always does, workers quit, parents pulled their children, and all manner of hell broke loose.

In the end people were more upset about the cover up than the actual wrong doing. Being dishonest about the situation made the proverbial mountain out of a little mole hill. It seems some people will never understand that being honest and up front with others is the only way to live.

Not too long ago a Pastor remarked during a conversation we were having that, "When you live in the truth there is nowhere else to go."

After dissecting the comment for a moment I realized it was truly genius. If you live in the truth you don't have to hide. You don't have to change courses or stories to keep the peace. You don't have to think about what you said or will say next. In the light of the truth their are no dark shadows where things can hide. You don't have to worry about anything like that. You only have to live in the truth. It's a simple fool proof plan.

It's been a long time since I went off on one of my philosophical rants about how a certain trait or virtue is important for me to instill in Braden. It's way over due. Every day as I evaluate the failures in my life I think about how to keep Braden from following in my foot steps. Certainly that begins by changing my habits so that he has a good role model to follow.

In this instance it was actually the misdeeds of others that made me think. Even if it's another person's nightmare there is no reason I can't use it as a reminder for how to raise my son. I know Arica values honesty above almost anything as well. So between the two of us I am certain that we'll bring Braden up to know that when he walks in the truth everything else will take care of itself.

Good-bye Baseball

2010-10-04T14:48:00.000-05:00

Today at Life of a New Dad we enter the confessional booth. It's time to get something off my chest, and with the MLB regular season ending yesterday it seems like the perfect time.

I haven't watched an entire baseball game in at least 6 weeks.

There I said it, and the truth of the matter is I didn't miss it one bit. I still love baseball. I still love the Cardinals. It just so happens that a mixture of circumstances came together this year to create the perfect storm of apathy in my baseball life.

This is definitely the least amount of baseball I have watched since I was in high school. Back then there wasn't a Fox Sports Net. Every baseball game was not televised around the country. The only time I could watch my favorite team is when they were on ESPN or another national network. I followed the Cardinals daily through the newspaper. I looked at box scores and followed the standings.

When I went to college I was able to watch every Cardinals game if I wanted to, and I tried my best to achieve that many seasons. That type of habitual baseball viewing has carried on to the present day.

Now I am going backwards in my Cardinal following. I may not use the prehistoric newspaper anymore, but I have been reduced to following the team through box scores on the internet. Why has this happened?

Part of it is the fact that the Cardinals stunk this year. Stunk is a relative term. They finished in second so they didn't stink like, say, the Pirates. But this team bored me to death for weeks on end despite having two of the best hitters and two of the best pitchers int he league. The worst part is that many nights the players seemed to care less than I did.
So that leads me to the main reason I just quit watching. With a toddler ruling your house TIME IS PRECIOUS! If the team didn't care enough to play hard I certainly didn't care enough to spend my scant free time watching them.

As a husband and father of a nearly 2 year old free time is worth more than gold. I can either spend that gold on my wife, doing something useful, or watching a losing baseball team. For once in my life I started choosing someone else instead of falling back into my old habits. Sure I would enjoy watching the Cardinals lose if only so I could yell at the TV, but that wasn't what I really wanted.

I wanted to spend time with Braden. I wanted to spend time with Arica. I wanted to do what I could to help around the house. Parenting has a funny way of helping you learn what is important in life. Hopefully this same type of realization will happen in other areas of my life. I need to be rid of things that take too much time from my family. I especially need to get rid of those things that are harmful to my family.

Anyone who knows me will attest that putting baseball on the back burner was a big step for me. Hopefully it is only the first step in my realization that the real people in my life matter far more than images of people on the TV or any other inanimate object that calls my name.

Singing with Hank...Check

2010-10-01T09:42:00.000-05:00

We all have monumental moments in our life that we will never forget like the birth of a child and our wedding day. These are universally accepted as the biggest moments in one's life. That is certainly true for me too, but there are many other special moments in life as well. Things that you strive for because of some strange part of your being. You are driven to do these things so you can write them down in your memory as mission accomplished.

Maybe there is even a checklist of strange things that you would like to do. I refuse to use the term Bucket List to refer to these things. I don't like terms that just explode like that. I will not jump on bandwagons of any kind.

Whatever you call the list it might involve going to the Seinfeld diner in NYC. It could include meeting the Dalai lama, 12th son of the lama, flowing robes, grace, bald, striking. I don't have a list, but if I did then I would certainly be marking one thing off Saturday night.

Thanks to my always awesome wife, who got me tickets for my birthday, I will be going to see Hank Williams Jr. in concert Saturday night. He will be with Jamey Johnson who is also one of my favorites. The checklist item is the opportunity to sing "A Country Boy Can Survive" with Hank. That is something that any good country boy should aspire to do. I will drink a beer and belt out the entire thing with Bocephus. Good times.

While we are on the subject of random things that I find overly important lets talk about some others. Here are a few of the less than Hallmark moments that I am proud to have marked off a list of things I decided were cool for some reason or another.

When I visited the Coloseum in Rome I recited my favorite line from the movie Gladiator while standing smack dab in the middle of the former showplace of ancient Rome. I said "My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, Commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next."

My secret is out. I am a tremendous dork. I'm sorry to let you all down. I just couldn't conceal it any longer, but if you're honest with yourselves I am sure there is at least one person out there feeling the pangs of jealousy right now.

I drank a beer or two in a real live Scottish Pub in Glasgow Scotland. The local beer is Tennants and my friend's brother who met us at the pub calls it Vitamin T. He ascribes many of his special powers and physical attributes to his faithful adherence to a Vitamin T regimen.

I got the kiss on both cheeks greeting from a real Italian in Rossano Italy. It was actually a goodbye after frequenting a certain restaurant every night for weeks on end. After seeing it done again and again over the months I spent there I made it my goal to be accepted into southern Italian society enough to gain that greeting. And I did it.

Next week hopefully I will have a funny yarn to spin about my time with 20,000 rednecks and how it will now be indelibly imprinted upon my memories just like these other unforgettable moments.

Rednecks, Hillbillies, Farm Animals, and Rubber Duckies

2010-09-29T10:43:00.000-05:00

Many of you know I celebrated a birthday earlier this month. Every year my birthday means a few things. One, I am getting older. Two, I will try to get away with anything and everything for one day. Three, The county fair is in town.

Growing up my birthday was always on the same week as the fair. That situation had its benefits. It ensured that I would always remember the fair, and it allowed me to pretend each year that there was a festival in my honor.

As a kid the fair meant rides and the demolition derby. The derby is the social event of the year in Arkansas County. It is the place to see and be seen. I haven't been to the derby in over a decade, but it still holds a special place in my heart.

Nowadays I am a resident of Garland county. That means I can still frequent the county fair during the week of my birthday. Even though the location has changed the fair remains pretty much the same. The fair will always mean rednecks and hillbillies. It will always mean people competing for the thrilling prize of best cow, pig, chicken, duck, rabbit, and mullet. The fair certainly still means carnies that scare the life out of small children.

Even with all the constants the fair is taking on new meaning as a father. This year it meant Braden picking up ducks for a prize. Then it meant Braden wanting the duck rather than the prize which led to intense negotiations.

It meant riding the merry go round.

Most of all it meant good family fun and it always will as long as it never means Braden is barking for the yak lady or spreading pixie dust on the tilt-a-whirl like cousin Eddie's kids.

Macaroni And Cheese Tears a Family Apart

2010-09-27T13:54:00.000-05:00

When Arica and I first met I knew right away that she was a good match for me. Everything seemed in order right of the bat. And as I got to know her better that definitely held true. I only found one thing about her that seemed odd to me.

Arica absolutely detests macaroni and cheese.

I used to tease her about it and say she must be a communist. There is no way that a full blooded American could not like mac and cheese. I just couldn't imagine that.

Well, let me warn you to be careful what you ridicule. Now I am the odd ball in our house because Braden hates the cheesy pasta favorite of many a kid as well. I teased my wife, and God saw fit to add another anti-macaroni member to our family.

Braden dislikes the dish so much that when it's served at school he refuses to eat anything. He won't eat a single thing that is on the same plate as the vile cheesy pasta. We have to keep extra meals at the school just for the days when macaroni is served. Otherwise our child would starve.

An interesting experiment might be to serve him some macaroni and cheese with a side of chocolate. I bet he would eat the chocolate, but nothing short of that would be deemed edible.

So once again I open my mouth and show my ignorance. Not only can a full blooded American dislike macaroni and cheese, but my very own flesh and blood can despise it as well.

For the record, I am not a communist.

Woooooo Pig Sooie!!!

2010-09-24T10:32:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow is a big day in the state of Arkansas. Our beloved Arkansas Razorbacks ranked #10 in the nation take on the defending national champion #1 ranked Alabama Crimson Tide. It is by any measure the biggest game to take place in the state of Arkansas since #1 Texas came from behind to beat #2 Arkansas 15-14 on the final day of the season in 1969 with President Nixon in attendance.

As you might surmise I am excited. I am wearing a Razorback shirt at work today. For that matter I wore one yesterday too. As David Putty once explained, "You gotta support the team." Furthermore, if the Hogs are going to pull off the upset they need everyone to help including me.

I have been trying to raise Braden to love the Hogs all his life. His room is decorated in Razorback attire with the walls painted red and white. He can call the Hogs although it is hard to get him to participate. He does regularly exclaim "SooiEEE" though. That is what he calls Razorbacks. If he sees one on his shirt or anywhere else he will point at it and say "SooiEEE". It is an awesome thing to see for a life long Hog fan.

Before Braden was born when people saw all the Razorback stuff he was getting they would often innocently ask, "What if Braden doesn't like the Razorbacks?"

I would usually laugh and shrug off the question as if it was insane. When pressed I would offer, "If he wants to root for another team he better find another place to sleep at night."

Such is the devotion to the Hogs in my house and all across the state. We don't have a pro team. We don't have any big cities. Heck, we don't even have a good reputation around the country. What we do have is our Razorbacks.

So on Saturday afternoon rednecks and hillbillies alike will be gathered around our TVs with the rabbit ears tuned just right to support those Hogs. Hopefully come next week everyone in the sporting world will be saying nice things about our great state.

If not then we will just shut down Wal Mart to get back at all of you.

Secret Snoopy Love

2010-09-22T13:52:00.000-05:00

I have written about Braden watching Cars enough to make everyone sick. Recently he has toned that down a bit. He will change DVDs to Elmo or Shrek at some point most evenings. The main reason he does it is just because he likes to change the DVDs out. We let him do it, and he feels all grown up.

Despite all the talk about Cars, Braden actually has an affinity for some classics as well. He watches the Mickey Mouse club house every morning while eating his breakfast. That may not be a classic but Mickey himself is as classic as they come. From Steamboat Willie until now that mouse has been the man.

Braden calls Mickey "Dot Dog" because of the hot dog song and dance at the end of the show. He knows his name is Mickey but never calls him that. If I ask what Mickey says Braden will reply "Dot dot dog" in his best excited sing songy voice.

Braden has two stuffed Mickey's as well. One is about the same size as our little man. He calls him "Big Dot Dog". The other is about the size of my hand. He calls that one "Mo Dot Dog" as in more hot dog.

Braden sleeps with both of them every night along with his pal Monkey.

The other classic Braden loves would be a surprise to even the little man himself. He doesn't know it yet, but I am certain that he has a secret liking for Snoopy. I loved Snoopy as a kid so imagine how excited I was recently when I saw Braden imitating my favorite cartoon beagle.

Here's Water In Your Eye

2010-09-21T14:21:00.000-05:00

There is a fairly large online community, many of them my friends, of stay at home dads (SAHD). A lot of the growing presence of this Dad blogging stuff is fueled by those same SAHD's. I often read about the problems they have in what is typically a female dominated occupation. As bloggers they are also introduced to all sorts of offers and advertisers that address them as moms based on assumptions alone. I know from following these guys how frustrating this can be.

Even with the growing number of SAHD's I still think that there are many things that moms do as parents much better than us dads. If you disagree then by all means call me an idiot. It won't be the first time.

In my experience moms are simply more nurturing and gentle people. They are more understanding and compassionate. I, being a dad, am in no way gentle. I am not nurturing. I am rough and practical. I am more prone to analysis of the problem than offering my condolences.

I am OK with this. I think it clearly shows why it is best to have two parents raise a child. The kid then gets the benefits of each type of personality. Braden has his sweet loving mom to care for his every need, and he has his dad to teach him how to kill animals and fix the sink.

Over the past year bathing Braden has been one of my primary duties. For the first 6 months of his life I don't think I ever gave Braden a bath. It was a delicate process and I feared it immensely. Eventually Arica helped me overcome that fear and become a baby washer.

I watched Arica so many time gently wash the shampoo out of Braden's hair careful to avoid getting any water or shampoo in his eyes. I watched her do it again recently and she hasn't lost her touch. She is soft and gentle and ever so caring.

When I am at the controls the description is more fast and shaky. I have never been able to keep the water out of Braden's eyes. I have tried and tried for Braden's sake. Eventually I just started going for the quickest solution. My reasoning was that Braden was going to get water in his eyes no matter what so the quicker I finished the better.

This method has worked out pretty well in my opinion. As you can see below my careless non-nurturing method of hair rinsing has helped develop a fearless little bath tub warrior.

The Invisible Disciplinarian

2010-09-15T11:22:00.000-05:00

I really had no idea what I was getting into nearly two years ago when Braden was born. I had no idea how to feed a baby. I had never changed a diaper. I didn't have the first idea how to get a baby to sleep through the night. It was all foreign ground to me. My "Life as a New Dad" would be a trial by fire, and I think this blog has always shown that to be true.

Lately I have been especially overwhelmed by love and amazement for our little man Braden. The teachers at his school/daycare are always singing his praises. He is the only kid in his class that feeds himself. He is actually helping teach the other kids to be more vocal because of how well he speaks and verbalizes his wants and needs.

He is the absolute light of our world. Even a moment away from him seems so much more dull and dreary. Watching his growth has been amazing. Watching his mind decipher so many things is a wonder, but even amidst this amazing journey of love and rainbows I have developed a problem.

Braden doesn't listen to me at all.

I always thought my kids would listen to everything I said. My word would be like some sort of law from on high. No one would question my authority. I would have the final say. I guess I envisioned myself as some sort of disciplinarian.

I have never been more incorrect about anything in my life.

Braden and I are the best of friends. We play from the moment I get home until bedtime every day. We play with his ever growing collection of cars and "Cars". We have Doc, Sally, Mater, Mack, Lightning McQueen, and Sheriff. We play baseball. We play basketball. We chase each other around the house tickling, wrestling, and acting just plain silly.

When it comes time for discipline, however, I might as well be a stranger at the mall. Braden will look at me for a second and then continue on doing exactly what I forbid. It happens pretty much every time.

When Arica speaks, Braden listens. She uses the timeout technique to perfection to keep Braden in line. He rarely disobeys her.

So here I am the parent that is taken lightly. I never would have guessed that. I know I have to start being more consistent with timeouts. I have also learned from Arica that I need to work on my tone of voice and my general attitude towards disciplining Braden. My methods aren't conducive to teaching and mostly just challenge Braden and irritate him.

To say that my son is independent and a little stubborn is like saying The Empire State Building is tall. The way I approach him often stirs his need to resist and maintain his independence. In order to fix this problem I have to change my methods. I must work much harder to find ways to get through to Braden.

This has been bothering me a lot lately. Thank the good Lord I have Arica to help me figure this all out. Otherwise I would be fighting tooth and nail with Braden for another 16 years.

Well, I'm sure we'll still fight our fair share, but at least with Arica's help I might win a few here and there.

33

2010-09-13T11:41:00.000-05:00

A number can mean so many things

First Larry Bird

Then Scottie Pippen

Later it's the amount of money I need for beer and cigarettes on Friday night

Then it is the number of minutes I stressed out about calling Arica for the first time

Maybe it's the number of sweat beads on my forehead as she walks down the aisle

Now it could be the number of times an hour Braden makes my heart leap with joy

Or the number of toy cars he has strewn across the floor

It's the exact number of days until the start of Muzzleload season

But today it also means something else

They say that age is just a number

Today my number is 33

Back in the Summer of 2010

2010-09-10T12:00:00.000-05:00

Give yourself a sticker for surviving Summer 2010 because it is gone. I don't care what the calendar says, it's over. I know this for certain because on my daily drives to and from work I don't have to dodge fourteen boats piled high with tubes, kids, and coolers as they head for the lake. I am not seeing as many people roaming around Wal Mart in their swimming suits with armfuls of potato chips and sunscreen. Our little town has slowed down again for the winter. It is nice, and to top it off we have even had rain for three straight days.

To further cement the end of summer football has returned to our lives. The Razorbacks won their first game and have climbed to #14 and #15 in the polls. This Saturday Arica and I are heading off to our first football game of the year. We will see friends, have fun, and call the Hogs on their way to another blowout victory against a former directional Louisiana school that is now simply ULM.

Even with the joy of football season beginning we will mourn the passing of another summer. There are good and bad things about every summer in Arkansas and this year was no different. Really the only bad thing was the oppressive heat. The temperature was over 100 degrees for nearly the entire month of August. That leads to huge patches of dead grass, nearly zero outdoor activities, and high energy bills. But even the heat can't keep us from having fun.

Now it is time to recap the good things about Summer 2010 aka Braden's second summer.

This year was the first family vacation which included Braden's first Cardinals game and a trip to the zoo. We also took Braden on his first of hundreds of lake trips. We went to water parks with and without the little man. Arica and I snuck in one trip that ended with a free Billy Currington concert. God is great. Beer is good. And people are crazy indeed.

There were plenty of other little things that were equally as awesome as vacations, water parks, and free concerts. For example:

We introduced Braden to snow cones.

Braden learned to help feed the dogs, and now he loves to do it every day. He has even developed somewhat of a friendship with the old hounds.

And finally there is one good thing that all this heat brings, besides all the water activities. It gives you a great excuse to run around the house in your underwear.

So that is it Summer 2010. It seems we hardly knew you. Until next Memorial Day when I fire up the grill and pop in the Saving Private Ryan DVD, I hope you enjoy your trip to the Southern Hemisphere.

Obama Is Following Me

2010-09-08T15:08:00.000-05:00

We are back from Cleveland, and apparently we have started a hot new trend. Even President Obama is following in our footsteps with a visit to the city. I am sorry to inform you Mr. President, but we have already gone.

Thanks go out to Weasel Momma for providing us with this fun getaway via her giveaway on World of Weasels. If you don't know her by now then stop by and say hello. She is sure to keep giving stuff away now that she has a taste of giving away showcases like Bob Barker.

For now I will wrap it up with my new updated Top 5 things about Cleveland list.

Downtown Cleveland is packed with great places to eat. We had a great meal every night and could have continued that trend for weeks to come. There are all sorts of different cuisines and settings right in the downtown area. We even saw my friend PJ Mullen's hero Michael Symon's restaurant "Lola" on Sunday, but it was closed. With a little better planning we could have eaten at an Iron Chef's restaurant.
If food is number one then beer has to be number two. Great Lakes Brewing Company, located in Cleveland, makes several fine beers. While I couldn't try them all I did manage to try a Burning River Ale, a Dortmunder Gold, and an Eliot Ness. All were excellent.
Downtown Cleveland is nice. Tons of places to eat and drink within walking distance of our hotel. Also within walking distance are the home fields for the Cleveland Browns and Cleveland Indians. If they could field a decent team with either of those franchises then they would really be on to something. The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is right there too.
The Christmas story house still makes the list. I liked the place. It is the leg lamp capital of the world.
The Rock an Roll Hall of Fame was cool. I am not the biggest museum guy in the world, but any place that honors the best of the best in Rock in Roll is like the Hall of Fame for cool people, so it has that going for it.

Yes I dropped Lou Brown and his troops off the list. I felt since I have actually been to the city that I should focus on the real parts of the city. Major League is still one of my favorite movies and the best thing about the Cleveland Indians franchise.

Also the weather stunk. I froze to death for the entire weekend. It was windy and cold. At least it seemed cold to me being from the south. It reinforced my thinking that if I ever leave Arkansas I will be moving somewhere closer to the equator.

Cleveland, The Bumpuses, and Lou Brown

2010-09-02T13:03:00.000-05:00

Friday morning Arica and I are leaving for Cleveland. You may have heard that we won a free trip from Weasel Momma a few weeks back. Well in an effort to miss the fewest days of work possible we are cashing in on the trip this Labor Day weekend.

We are to some degree breaking the rules of the trip giveaway. It is supposed to be a all expenses paid family vacation. We have already had a full one week family vacation this year, so we are turning this into an adults only weekend. It will be nice to have some time for each other.
Arica and I are anxious about leaving Braden for an entire weekend. Arica has never been away from him that long before so I know it will be hard for her. I have been away a lot longer than that, but I will still miss my little buddy terribly.

The fact is that in order to be the best parents we can be for Braden we need to take care of ourselves as well. Mentally and physically exhausted parents do Braden absolutely no good. So we are taking a short little getaway to recharge the batteries. Hopefully after some R & R (both rest and relaxation and Rock and Roll HOF) we will be fully refreshed and ready to conquer the months to come.

I know absolutely nothing about Cleveland. I would have never taken a trip there, but that is a cool thing about free trips. You get to see a part of the country that you may never have considered otherwise. When I return I will have plenty of pictures and a few stories to tell about all the things I learned about Cleveland.

I thought it would be fun to do a "Top 5 Things I Like About Cleveland" list before and after the trip.Here is my very uneducated before list.

Cleveland is the home of the Cleveland Indians. I don't care about the real version. I am talking about the Hollywood versions consisting of Rick Vaughn, Jake Taylor, Willie Mays Hayes, Roger Dorn, Eddie Harris, and the late great Lou Brown.
Even though I always thought it should be in Memphis, Cleveland is home to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
I recently found out that Cleveland was home to the Christmas Story House. That is beyond awesome and moves Cleveland way up the list. The only thing that could be better is if the Bumpus family dog kennel was located next door. And if you hear that the leg lamp has been stolen, don't look at me.
Cleveland is on the shores of Lake Erie. I have only seen Lake Michigan but I think the Great Lakes are pretty cool. They are like giant fresh water oceans in the middle of North America.
I am going with Jim Brown, former Cleveland Brown here. He was one of the greatest football players ever. He is a notoriously tough guy who, frankly, scares the crap out of me. And he was in the movie "The Dirty Dozen" that I watched many times with my Dad when I was growing up.

Running with Scissors

2010-09-01T13:08:00.000-05:00

I am thinking about the scope of my blog today. What kind of blog is this? A friend of mine told me recently that he considered it sort of a road map of what he could expect when he became a father. Of course we look at life through very similar eyes so maybe he can actually get something from all this mess.

In reality I don't think I have ever offered a word of advice in this space. I have told a lot of stories. In fact I think that is really my writing style. I tell a story mixed with a few examples and references to things that I find important in life like Seinfeld, Pearl Jam, and baseball.

I have also told some jokes and made some fairly obvious observations. One of my favorite things to do is philosophize on different topics relating to parenting. In these cases I have told about my philosophies on what is important to me in raising my son. Of course all of this is just wishful thinking. In fact I write a lot of this stuff as a target for my own parenting efforts. I rarely hit the bulls eye but it is nice to have something to aim at.

Still I have offered no advice. Maybe some day I will drop some profound wisdom on you readers, but today I can only offer this:

While keeping your children from dangerous activities like running with scissors is very important to their physical health, it is also important for us as parents to ensure the mental health of our offspring by not being too overbearing in our desire to keep them from harm.

After all you don't want to raise a child that ends up like this, do you?

John Ratzenberger Spans Generations

2010-08-30T11:08:00.000-05:00

I have watched Cars so many times the past few weeks that I honestly was trying to explain to Arica last night some deeper meaning that I had attributed to the movie. That may have been the last straw, but with Braden acquiring a toy Doc and the Cars sound track over the weekend I probably still have a few hundred more viewings to go.

I promise to stop writing about our favorite family movie soon, but I have one more thought inspired by the animated talking automobiles today.

The topic of changes from generation to generation has been covered ad nauseum. No one needs me to tell them how much different our children's life will be from our own. We have all considered the disappearance of VCRs and eventually DVDs and CDs. We know about life before computers and cell phones. Certainly we are all aware that our children will consider us prehistoric dinosaurs when we try to explain to them our childhood.

This has been going on for the entire history of mankind. I am sure young Caveman Jr. once laughed at his Dad when he learned about Dad's life before the discovery of fire.

Today's generation gap spanning thought is about TV. Imagine that. I am talking about TV again.

During one of my myriad of recent Cars viewings I began thinking about John Ratzenberger who played the know it all mail man Cliff Clavin on Cheers. I love Cheers and I still watch reruns from time to time. I imagine it will be one of my staple old man shows someday when I reach that age which prohibits me from watching any new TV shows. It seems to happen to all old people. That's why someone invented TV Land.

When that happens to me Braden will walk into the room while I am watching Cheers. During one of Cliff's crazy stories he will get that look of sudden realization in his eyes and say, "Hey Dad, That's Mack!"

To which I will only elicit the groan of an old man who just instantly aged 20 more years.

The BBC

2010-08-26T11:34:00.000-05:00

The government has all sorts of classifications for cars and trucks. These classes affect things like insurance, taxes, and other boring things. There are car classes based on size like compact and full-size cars. There are tons of truck sizes based on axle weights. Vehicles can be classed as commercial or personal vehicles. The EPA has it's own class system that has to do with air pollution regulations.

Basically I don't know much about these classes, but I know enough to say it looks confusing. So I am offering a new vehicle classification system. We will call it Braden's Buggy Classification or BBC.

Yes I could have went with the less recognizable BVC by substituting vehicle for buggy. But I am holding out hope that this system will become so wildly popular that a little TV network in the U.K. will sue me for rights to the name. Then I can maybe get a few bucks out of the deal. If nothing else I would settle for a lifetime supply of fish and chips.

On to the classifications. Since Braden is enamored with all things about cars right now we go through classifying them every day. He hands me one of his toy cars and either proclaims its class or asks "What dis?" Then I give it a class.

As Braden learns the classes he likes to yell them out when we are in the car. Every day as Arica drives home past a local tractor supply store and dealership she hears, "Mama, Mama, Tactor!" He will repeat his proclamation until you acknowledge the wonderful tractors presence.

So after compiling all this knowledge gained from my wonderful son I present to you the first edition of the BBC.

Car: Any personal vehicle that is not a truck including SUV's like "Mama Car."
Tuck: Any personal vehicle that looks like "Daddy Tuck" and is not clearly a car. Also includes some work trucks. i.e pick-ups, dump trucks, etc.
Tactor: Tractors and other implements used for working construction i.e. bulldozers, backhoes, etc.
Bus: Buses and other trucks with boxy appearances. i.e. moving vans, delivery trucks, service trucks, fire trucks, etc.
Big Tuck or Mack: Eighteen wheelers including both Mack trucks and Peterbilts

Please forward all vehicle classification inquiries to this blog and I will take them to our Transportation Secretary, and creator of the BBC, Mr. Braden himself.

A Japanese Grandma

2010-08-23T13:20:00.000-05:00

Arica, Braden and I enjoyed a simple pleasure of life last night. It was so simple and so enjoyable that it almost defies any possible explanation.

Ours is an instant gratification society. We have everything we ever need right at our fingertips at all times. We have access to everything online. We have games, movies, recorded shows on the DVR. There is an endless array of entertainment vehicles at our disposal.

I sometimes even find myself hurrying to get to everything I want to enjoy. Hurry up so we can watch the Netflix movie that came in today. Hurry up so we can get to our TV shows before I fall asleep. Hurry. Hurry. Hurry.

It is so easy now to skip out on simple conversation with family and friends. It seems that being neighborly is often a thing of the past as well. We hurry to our next meeting or the next event on our busy social calendar. This is how we live our lives.

We had a wonderful reminder last night of what can be truly joyful in life. Our family was invited to a cookout at our next door neighbor Jim's house. He lives alone. He has lived in the U.S. for over 30 years while all his family remains in Japan. This past week Jim's brother and his brother's wife have been visiting. Our neighbor and friend wanted to thank us for feeding his animals by having us over.

It was simply a wonderful evening. Jim and his family speak very little English, but it was a lot of fun to talk with them about their lives and experiences anyway. They were so kind and the food was so good.

Jim's brother broke out the harmonica and played several songs after dinner. We all laughed and sang along as Braden danced. Braden played with the cat and made a new friend in Jim's sister in-law. She was like his Japanese Grandma.

Japanese Grandma spoke zero English, but Braden loved her anyway. He grabbed her by the hand and led her off to play. Small children can certainly teach us a lesson in these situations about seeing the heart of a person rather than their outside appearance. The language of caring and love is much more important than English or Japanese.

During this entire time no TV, radio, or other modern entertainment device was ever turned on. There was no texting, no facebook, not even a simple phone call.

We were all so deeply involved in a wonderful conversation that it would have taken a tornado siren to drag us away anyway. I hope as Braden gets older we can continue to find ways to teach him about the joy of meeting people and the joy of seeing other cultures.

As life gets faster and faster in the years to come I think it will be even more important to remember how to slow down, simplify life, and get in touch with one another.

Disney Pixar's Cars with Braden

2010-08-19T12:23:00.000-05:00

During the past two weeks Braden has developed a new fascination. The fact that this fascination is supported by the TV should come as no surprise as he is my child. Lately Braden watches the Disney Pixar film Cars all the time. By all the time I mean it is on a continuous loop at our house from the time he comes home from school until the time he goes to bed. He plays and does other things, but Cars must be on at all times. When the movie is over Braden always suggests, “Mo Car.” If you think he is not watching and try to turn it off you will hear “I wa Car.” He cannot be deterred.

So I have watched Cars a few hundred times now it seems. Since Arica and Braden get home a few hours before me each day, Arica has seen it even more. I am happy to watch Cars rather than that purple dinosaur Braden used to watch so I try not to complain. Still it gets old after about the third straight viewing.

Here is a little play by play of our movie watching experience. Braden loves Mack, the truck that hauls Lightning McQueen from race to race. As soon as he comes on the screen Braden starts pointing and exclaiming, “Mack, Mack, Mack” until you respond. Then he waits a bit and does it again.

His love of the Mack truck reminds me of a saying a French colleague of mine once told me about. He said in France they have a saying that translates to "pretty as an American truck." At first that sounds ridiculous, but if you have seen the small ugly things that pass for big trucks in Europe you might understand. Our Eighteen wheelers are huge and covered in about 500 pounds of chrome. So Braden finding joy in a beautiful American Mack truck is an understandable thing. Plus it's huge and powerful and all boys like that.

Right after Mack makes his first appearance he and Lightning McQueen leave on a trip for California amidst Braden's exclamations of "MACK!" The song “Life is a Highway” plays at the start of this trip. Braden dances with this song every single time. He loves it. See for yourself.

After that song is over Mack eventually falls asleep and loses Lightning McQueen. When McQueen wakes up he storms off looking for Mack. During this time Braden is looking for Mack too. Then comes the train that McQueen has to beat to the railroad crossing. Even before the train appears Braden starts saying “choo choo.” He has the events in the story down pat at this point.

After that the Sheriff chases our friendly race car through the countryside. Then the movie cuts to a scene of the sleepy little town of Radiator Springs. To show how sleepy the town really is there is absolutely no sound during this part. It is in great contrast to the high speed chase that precedes the scene. Every time this happens Braden says “Uh-Oh” because he thinks the sound is broke. Then he gets the remote and gives it to either me or Arica to fix it.

This little sequence plays out at our house about 5 times a day. The rest of the movie is filled with naming a few characters like "mamer" or "Doc". Braden also has learned the word speed and can point out the Piston Cup or "tin cup" on sight. Who says you can't learn things from watching TV.

Braden likes Cars so much that when I woke him up on Tuesday morning the first thing he said to me was “I wa Car.” I tilted him back from my shoulder to discuss this with him and I noticed his eyes were only cracked open the tiniest bit. He was not even half awake yet. Still, in his sleepy haze, Braden knew that he wanted to watch a little bit of Cars to start his day.

Digital Memories

2010-08-13T13:07:00.000-05:00

In this digital age all new families have an enormous collection of pictures of their children. Ours already number in the thousands. It is even feasible to have a picture of every day of a child's life. We will never forget our children's faces and how they changed over the years. Neither will we forget any of the important moments in their lives because they will all be recorded and stored on hard drives, CDs, and DVDs.

But what about all those other moments? Will we still remember to cherish every little moment whether we have camera in hand or not? Can our minds, now trained to look through picture after picture for our favorite experiences, still contain memories of their own? Will we throw aside the crutch from time to time to view things through our minds eye?

I was thinking about this a few days ago when I was giving Braden a bath. Actually the bathing was done, and we were playing. Braden has a big box of those foam letters and numbers that stick to the tub and the tile. We use them to learn letters and sounds. Sometimes we stick them on Braden. This night we were throwing them at the tiled shower wall trying to get them to stick.

Braden was humming them about 60 mph and I was collecting a few of his rebounds as they came screaming by my ears. I was using a letter throwing technique that I learned from Arica the night before when we did the same thing. I was spinning the letters as I tossed them, trying to balance the strength of my throw. The toss has to be hard enough to make the letters stick, but soft enough so they don't bounce off.

While doing this I wondered if I would ever tell Braden about the times we spent throwing our ABC's at the bathroom wall. I wondered if I would ever tell him about the three weeks we spent feeding turkeys and raccoons for our Japanese neighbor. Will I share with him how many minutes we stood at the storm door just to look at "Daddy Tuck" parked in the road. Which of these seemingly innocent things will become memories of my own.

You never know which memories are destined to become lasting. You never know when you are living in a moment that will transcend time. Some moments actually become part of who you are forever. These moments aren't always on vacation or at birthday parties. They don't all occur at Christmas or Easter. You never know when they will come so you don't always have your camera ready.

I think the key is to slow down and enjoy every moment. I hope I can learn to better live in the moment and enjoy exactly what I am doing with Braden and Arica. My impatience is certain to cost me many special times if left unchecked. I plan to keep working on that because I don't want to miss any opportunity to form lasting memories. As long as my mind stays sharp I plan to remember some of these little things to share as stories in the future.

And in case my memory goes I sure am glad that I have this blog.

Future Cardinal

2010-08-11T12:37:00.000-05:00

Everyone here knows that I love baseball. Everyone knows that I dream of my son taking up an interest in the game as well. To some degree that has started to happen. Braden has, at last count, 7 different bats including three wooden ones that he can use to cause some real damage. He has too many baseballs to count including a couple real ones that are also relatively dangerous.

Most nights I put the TV on the Cardinals game while we play. Nearly every time Braden will sit down and watch a little bit with me. He can now say Pujols when we watch our favorite player hit. He claps when I clap, and he genuinely like watching for brief periods of time.

The best part of his growing love for baseball, however, is his actual ability to hit the ball off the tee. He can really smoke it some times. And as a proud daddy I want to share a video of his hitting with all of you.

Braden swings and misses once during the video, but that is OK. Even Mighty Casey struck out. Unlike Casey, Braden only gets one strike before he follows up with a swing that nearly puts a dent in the wall. His best hit is the last one which follows a request for a home run. Apparently he can hit homers at will too.

The video is a little long, but I just couldn't decide what to cut. So you get the full experience including Braden's Godparents and our friends Kelly and Lisa doing most of the helping.

I hope you enjoy watching our future Cardinal.

Half Baked

2010-08-09T15:15:00.001-05:00

I dont' have any good ideas for post. I had nothing Friday. Nothing occurred to me over the weekend. Here it is late Monday afternoon and my mind is as empty as the Chicago Cubs trophy case.

I blame my lack of creativity on the weather. My brain is fried. Actually since it is wrapped up in my head it is more likely baked. I am half baked, but not like the guys in the movie of the same name. Rather than go mute I think we should break out the trusty old bullet point post. That's a great way to bring together several disjointed topics that represent my disjointed thought process at the moment.

So there it is. I am half-baked by the sun and bringing you bullet points.

Braden still likes shoes although not as much. He loves to put on his "bip bops" though. He can't leave the house without them.
I have been feeding my neighbors cat, the semi wild turkeys, and the raccoons at his house for two weeks now while he is gone on vacation. Braden loves to go and help me with the feeding. He always gets his hat and his "bip bops" when I get home from work. Then he is ready to feed the "tu-teys".
Yes I said that I am feeding raccoons. My neighbor asked and I obliged. I would rather shoot them, but he probably doesn't have a need for coonskin caps.
The same coons come into my garage and eat my dog food sometimes. I guess I better keep feeding them next door to keep them at bay.
My neighbors cat has decided his owner is not coming home and took up residence outside our door last night. It meowed all night. You try to be nice and this is what you get. A cat. And who really wants a cat?
Arica killed another snake a couple weeks ago. She attacked it, but it got away under a bush. It turned up dead a few days later. That puts the standings over the last two years at Arica 2, Robert 1. My wife is the family snake killer. Don't mess with her.
I thought I lost my keys to Arica's car today.That will put you in a panic about as quick as anything. I tried to blame it on Braden, but Arica put a stop to that. She was right. I had just misplaced them. In a related note I am still looking for the spare set of truck keys I lost in 2008.
Not long ago Arica spotted and I killed a scorpion in our house. Yes a scorpion.
Is anyone out there starting to fear for us with the snakes, coons, and scorpions stalking our house.
In a totally unrelated note we still have our house on the market if anyone is interested. Just like the Kamp Komfort clerk said on National Lampoon's Vacation, our price "includes scenery and wildlife fun".

Go Daddy

2010-08-04T10:28:00.000-05:00

Braden knows right from wrong. There is no confusion about what his parents will allow and what we won't. It's obvious when Braden, doing something wrong, stares at me or Arica to see if we are watching. Sometimes he even smiles that sly grin knowing that we are about to make our move to interrupt his fun. That's all part of normal development. He is trying to determine his boundaries, and in some cases stretch them as far as he can.

Braden even knows what things are more likely to elicit a response from me rather than Arica and vice versa. Recently he has started using this information to try and improve his chances of getting away with things. Mostly he uses this new technique to look at things or get into cabinets and drawers. He likes to play with our PS3 and Wii game cases and discs. I let him play with the old ones but not the new ones. They are too expensive for toddler inspection.

So how does my son deal with this problem? He throws me out of the room.

When Braden wants to look at the games he tells me to "GO!" If I don't go then he will physically push me out of the room. Sometimes he even pushes me two rooms over and around the corner to make sure I can't see him. While he walks back to the location of his planned hijinks he watches me the entire time. If I take a step towards him Braden will point at me with his little finger and repeat his demands of "GO!"

While Braden can easily determine right from wrong, we need to work on his understanding of when these rules apply. That is a worry for the future though. For now I just admire his creativity.

Free As I'll Ever Be

2010-08-02T10:51:00.000-05:00

After years away I have fully rejoined the country music fan base. I have seen a couple concerts and I am an avid listener to country music radio once again like I was as a child. During this time I have become a big fan of the Zac Brown Band. One of their new songs is called "Free" and these lyrics got me thinking about freedom recently.

So we live in our old van, travel all across this land, me and you...Just as free, free as we'll ever be. - Zac Brown Band

That verse rings true because there is something about being on the open road that is freeing. When I was in college I worked a few summers at a U-Haul center. Sometimes I would have to travel to another town to pick up a truck that we needed and drive it back to our center. I remember how free it felt to drive those big lumbering 26 foot moving vans. It was as close as I will get to being a truck driver. I always had the windows down no matter what the temperature. Between my legs was a sugar and caffeine filled bottle of Mt. Dew. In my left hand was always a slowly smoldering cigarette. As I drove a few hours along the highways of NE Arkansas with absolutely nothing on my mind I felt free.

Later after I graduated college I used my freedom in other ways. At that time I felt free to go out to a local bar and grill 4 or 5 times a week for supper. I always took the same chair at the bar. The bartender would give me the remote control, and I would put it on whatever sporting event I wanted to watch. Every night in the summer it was Cardinals baseball. Then I would order my food without benefit of a menu, as the bartender automatically poured me a cold draft beer. Sitting atop my perch bellied up to the bar I felt free.

Eventually the bar was replaced by other hobbies. Just months before I met Arica I bought a fishing boat. Since then my favorite hobby has been bass fishing. I love to get up before sunrise on those chilly April and May mornings to head to the lake. I make my 20 minute drive out to beautiful lake Ouachita where there is no shoreline construction. Out on the lake it is just me and my boat surrounded by mountains and forests. In the middle of the lake as the sun comes up over the pine covered peaks I feel free.

While it is true that having a kid has cut into fishing time and cut out time at the bar I still feel free. You see as a Dad you are allowed another type of freedom. A type that couldn't be matched by scaling Mt. Everest, fishing in the pre-oil spill gulf, or anything else in the world.

When I come home from work and Braden runs across the room to greet me with a DADDY!! I feel free.

Free from sadness.
Free from worry.
Free from pain.
Free from stress.
Free from any problem this world can throw at at me.

The love of my son makes me feel, to borrow from Mr. Brown, "Free as I'll ever be."

Fruit and Flower Anniversary

2010-07-29T08:38:00.000-05:00

I have used this blog to tell the story of How We Met. I have also been sentimental on this occasion in the past. I always feel that my words are hopelessly weak and fruitless in any attempt to describe how I feel about Arica. I am not skilled enough to put such deep and passionate emotions on paper.

How can anyone with a little corner of the internet adequately proclaim their love by posting a couple hundred words that will be read mostly by people they have never met. Furthermore, why would I do that?

In the past I have felt that it was a good tribute to my wife. I felt it must feel good for her to receive such words in much the same way it feels good for a woman to receive flowers in front of her co-workers. I am sure Arica enjoyed the kind words, but wouldn't they be better suited to go straight from my mouth into her ears.

On that note I think I will take the romantic post I have waiting in my drafts section and put it on a real piece of paper. Then I will either give Arica that piece of paper or read it to her by candlelight or maybe even tattoo it on my arm.

Either way this year there will be no posturing on a blog. I will share only with my beloved wife how I truly feel. After four years of dealing with me she certainly could stand a romantic gesture.

Before ending this post I want to share a couple stories about our wedding day. That day before the ceremony my little cousin, serving as the flower girl, asked her mom several times where the princess was. She would also say she wanted to see the princess.This innocent little girl was talking about my bride to be. She was spot on with her description. Arica looked absolutely beautiful that day, just like a princess. And she has been an absolute princess every day since that. Not just in her looks either. She is just as beautiful in her heart.

Later on our wedding day, at the reception, one of my friends Dad's made another insightful comment about my new wife. As the wedding video went around this man had his David Spade in Tommy Boy moment. He was several beers into the night when he proclaimed to the camera, "Arica, you must need glasses because you are way too pretty for Robert."

So here she is the princess that is way too good looking for me. I can't say that I disagree. Happy Anniversary Arica!

Wordy Wednesday

2010-07-28T09:27:00.000-05:00

Much of the Dad blogging community participates in Wordless Wednesday. This requires posting a picture on your site and that is all. I am not one of those Dads. I figure if I wanted to have wordless posts I would have started a picture album rather than a blog. To each their own I guess.

Still this is the third straight Wednesday that I have posted pictures from our vacation. This vacation ended a month ago, but I am still reporting like it is breaking news. When you have a cute kid and a talented photographer for a wife you have a lot to share.

So here is the final installment of our vacation pictures. They include Silver Dollar City Theme Park and the water park.

This isn't the water park, but Braden insisted that he wear his swimming suit that day. Turns out he knew what he was talking about.

Braden having yet another Coke on the trip. Vacation is meant for fun. He hasn't had one since.

Me and Braden shooting some ball gun thing. I had to beat up three kids to get a gun.

Arica and Braden riding the water gun boat. I stood along side and shot water at the boat.

All three of us after several water gun battles.

Braden at the water park.

Braden in the water tunnel with a shirtless man lurking behind.

Over One Billion Served

2010-07-26T13:25:00.000-05:00

Last week we had another major milestone development in our family. We were driving down the road to pick up Arica's car from the body shop where it had some paint repaired. We passed a building that everyone in America would recognize, and on this day Braden recognized it too.

From the back seat Arica and I heard "nunnet, nunnet" as Braden pointed out the window. He had just recognized McDonald's for the first time, and he wanted some chicken nuggets.

Before all you health nuts go crazy you you should know that we only feed Braden McDonald's 5 times a week. I think it is good for him to have a well rounded diet so we save the other two days for pizza and burritos.

Seriously though he gets a Happy Meal from time to time like most other kids. In my opinion the bigger threat to our kids health is technology. Sitting inside with video games and computers day after day in lieu of exercise is much worse than having a cheeseburger or chicken nugget.

Either way it's fun to see your kids recognize the world around them whether it be a McDonald's or the organic tofu market.

I Am Never Wrong

2010-07-23T09:06:00.000-05:00

My mother once gave me a shirt that said "You can either agree with me or be wrong." I thought it was funny because I was rather proud of that aspect of my personality. Arica didn't think it was funny because living with someone like that is a pain.

It turns out Arica was right. That type of attitude isn't funny.

Since I became a father I have spent a good amount of time evaluating myself. I have taken time to look more closely at my strengths and weaknesses. I have never been one to admit my weakness or vulnerability before, but now it is not just about me. If I am not careful all my bad habits will become Braden's. I need to change my bad habits and set a good example. This is important because I want Braden to be a better man than me.

Upon reflection it's very clear that I have always thought I was right in every situation. I would argue and correct people. I wouldn't accept that someone else might be right. It never entered my mind. I am often still like this, but I am trying to change. The problem with figuring this out (with loving help from Arica) after having Braden is that change has to come quickly. If I am unable to change my actions Braden will surely mimic them regardless of what I tell him. Actions speak louder than words.

I am trying to change because I don't want Braden to always think he is right. I do want him to have confidence in his decisions and in his knowledge. I don't want him to second guess himself. I just want him to listen to others and be open minded without arguing every single point with everyone. This behavior is not only annoying, but it causes other problems as well.

The first problem with feeling you always have to be right is that it limits creativity. I have a black and white view of the world. This leads me to thought patterns of right or wrong with no in between. If someone is doing something different than me then it must be wrong.

That is a terribly limiting way to see the world. There is obviously more than one way to skin a cat. The truly successful people in the world are always looking for new ways to do things. They listen to every idea and determine if it is good or bad based solely on its merit not on its relationship to previous ideas. I want Braden to be confident of himself and his work, but not to the point of arrogance. Arrogance leads to close mindedness, and we all know that is a bad thing.

The other major problem that results from an obsession with being right is the development of a fear of being wrong. This often manifests as a fear of failure. I often found this problem with myself. At times in my life I was afraid to speak out or to try something new because I couldn't stand to look stupid. I couldn't bear it if I was wrong or worse terribly wrong and inadequate. A fear of failure not only limits success, but it also limits how much fun you can have in your life.

So I am working on my way of thinking. I hope I am able to show Braden how to consider all people's viewpoints and ways of doing things. I hope I can help him become open minded. It is my dream that he becomes a man with no fear of failure, like that man Teddy Roosevelt once spoke about in this famous quote:

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.

What's Your Favorite Animal?

2010-07-21T10:09:00.000-05:00

George Costanza was once interviewing candidates for a scholarship from the Susan Ross foundation. This was something he didn't really want to do, and his methods were interesting to say the least. Here is an excerpt from one of those interviews.

George: Quick, what's your favorite animal?

Candidate: I don't know...Frog?
George: Frog?
Candidate: Well...I...I..
George: Frog is wrong.

We went to the St. Louis Zoo on our vacation a couple weeks ago and I got to see my favorite animal, the tiger. Below are pics of that and much more, including Braden's favorite animal the "mummy".

Braden looking at a live version of a mummy.

Braden checking out a mummy picture.

I have seen Madagascar 2 way too many times on HBO. I kept imagining this zebra talking like Chris Rock.

Braden did the Build-a-Bear thing.

Except he built a Penguin. His choice.

Later he picked up this girl. She just climbed right in his ride. I was beaming with pride. You can see my right arm and leg beaming in the picture.

Don't worry. It's not the peyote. Braden really is sitting on a giant blue frog.

No comment. I just liked this picture.

Here we all are at the zoo for photographic evidence.

The little man finally just gave out from animal overload.

I Pee Pee

2010-07-19T10:57:00.000-05:00

There is a storm on the horizon. We know it's coming, and we can actually jump start the storm ourselves when it's time. The only reason we would ever start this storm is because of the relative calm that will follow.

Typically these types of storms are followed with clear blue skies. The high pressure will cover our little world and bring beautiful weather every day.

The looming dark cloud is potty training. It's not time yet, but things are happening that bring the thought to mind. Braden now understands what is going on in the way of using the bathroom. He no longer carries on like nothing ever happened when his diaper is filled to capacity.

The first signs that he might not be thrilled with pooping his pants came in the form of pulling at his diaper. As anyone knows a toddler adjusting his diaper is not a good thing. You don't want your kid messing with his Pampers when they are full of toxic waste. When he starts adjusting his drawers either Arica or I will ask him "Did you poop?"

Braden responds, "I poop." He is accurate too, unlike those bozos on the Weather Channel.

Braden also knows a little about peeing his pants. You can ask him if he pee peed and he will say yes or no. The accuracy of this one is not as easy to check, but I assume he has a fair idea about his diapers moisture content.

The best thing is that Braden likes to sit on the toilet already. Sometimes for no reason at all he just comes up to me or Arica and says, "I pee pee." As usual there is no ignoring his request. Either you take him to the bathroom or he repeats, "I PEE PEE!" until you do.

I think more than anything he likes to play with the toilet paper. He will sit on the porcelain throne and wipe a few times before he is done. Then he flushes and goes on about his day.

I have never been excited about the prospect of potty training, but it will be coming soon. And now that it approaches the whole thing leaves me a bit hopeful. After all diapers aren't cheap.

After conquering all the accidents and toilet training we can say good-bye to $20 boxes of diapers and hello to $20 boxes of beer.

At least that's the plan from my point of view.

Toddler Talk

2010-07-16T09:48:00.000-05:00

Interpreting the wants and desires of a toddler can be next to impossible, especially in the early stages of talking. They may scream about something that is totally clear in their mind but sounds like gobbledygook to you. Maybe you have spent 15 minutes trying to figure out what dog shoe means or bowl shoot. Who knows?

Braden is really developing a large vocabulary. He can say tons of words. Most of the time they are easily discernible to Arica and me. But even if we know exactly what Braden is saying it doesn't mean that we know what he wants.

Parenting is a learning experience, and Braden is the teacher. Clear understanding may be unachievable, but we do our best to learn as we go. Here is an example of how similar comments can mean totally different things.

Braden: Uh Oh! Shoe off!
Translation: Oh Crap! My shoe fell off! Put it back on now lest I pitch a fit!

Braden: Shoe off!
Translation: Take my shoe off now old man before I punch you in the face!

Now that we can easily decipher Braden's shoe commands and sweaty "dock" desires, I am sure the little dictator will find new ways to torture us with his words.